A Facked up truth or dare
by Artemis 85
Summary: ooo yes there will be blood, the title explains it all. Many pairings! NejixTen, GaaraxSaku, TemxShikaxIno. Contains lemons and dodgy but hilarious scenes...if you like dodgy stories and want an all nighter...your've got the right link...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I had a weird dream last night, I dreamt that Jesus came in through my window and I was like aye? And he was like Jesus loves you but I think you a cunt! And I was like…your Jesus? And he was like OMG that impossible. Then jumped out a window to commit mass suicide. So yeah…that was my dream and It was fucked. Then I had this dream about Gaara being a hawt as dancer and so was Sakura, sooooo lol yeah I came up with this story. Hopefully you'll like it, and hopefully this authors note won't get any longer…

Whoops

It just did…hehe

Gaara, Temari and their pervert brother were sitting at the back of the class acting all cool. "Hey Kankuro"

"Yo?"

"Get your hand outta my ass" Temari said in an annoyed voice.

"Whoops my bad" a popping sound was heard as he extracted his hand.

Gaara rolled his eyes at their immaturity. "God dammit, being stuck with these twats is like torture "he looked at them from the corner of his eye, they were playing slaps and his sister was winning.

He heard the clicking of the classroom door and looked up. He could have sworn an angel just walked in. This angel had long waist length pink hair. Nice titts and pretty sweet ass. Her hair swayed when she walked and her mini skirt would hike up with each step. Her tight tank top showed off a bit of cleavage. She walked up to the teacher and handed him a pink slip.

"This is Haruno Sakura, she is a new student so I would appreciate it a lot if you would welcome her"

"**Oh yeah with open arms too babe" **Shukaku said and grinned.

"Ohh fuck off" Gaara said in his mind.

"**Yo check out those sexy curves, mmmm, just wanna take that piece of ass into a secluded corner and-**

"SHUT UP!"

Everyone stared at him and he sank down into his chair and sighed.

"Anyway" their teacher said very slowly "Pick a seat, there are a few empty ones."

Sakura walked up the stairs in the middle of the room, passing many boys who pushed their friends off chairs to make room for her. Gaara was staring out the window.

"Do you mind if I sit here?" she asked.

No reply

"Hello?" she waved a hand in front of his face.

"What?"

"Do you mind if I sit next to you?"

"Hn"

"I'll take that as a yes" and she sat down, placing her neat books on the bare desk.

"**You idiot!!!" **the demon inside Gaara scolded him for being so cold. **"YOU SUCK AT GETTING PUSSY AND I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!!!"**

Gaara looked around the room, all the men were crying, he also noticed the amount of empty seat she could have sat in, why did she choose the one next to him?

"…**You're an idiot…"**

"Why?" he asked his inner demon.

"**Cuz your clueless beyond belief" **

"Whatever" He noticed Temari's hand go past him, with a note at her fingertips. Sakura gladly accepted the note, opening it in her lap so the teacher wouldn't notice she read it.

_Hey Sakura, I'm Temari, ma and a few of my friend are having a sleepover, I would be delighted if you came. Oh and just to warn you, Gaara and Kankuro are my brothers so if you don't want to come, I'll understand._

The words on the note panged in his heart, why did everyone hate him? He saw her grab a pen.

_Sure I'd love to come, your brothers are cute and the one with red hair reminds me of a really cute panda. Lol._

Sakura folded the note in half and passed it back to her new friend. Temari smiled brightly, wrote on the note and handed it back.

_I'll give you the details after class… _it read.

A/N: you likey? You review and get a cookie!?


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: okay here's that next chappy, I hope you like it.

'RINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGG' the bell indicated that class had finished.

"All right class remember your math homework" all the students filed out of the class. Sakura waited outside for her new friend.

"Hey!"

"Hey Temari" Temari's brothers walked up behind her. "You still wanna come?"

"Hell yes!"

"Great since it's Friday, come over to this address after school." Temari handed her a note.

"Are there gonna be games, if you get my drift?" Sakura asked with a naughty glimmer in her eyes.

"Well, cool you're adventurous too!" Kankuro said and laughed.

"This is my brother Kankuro" Temari pointed at the purple faced guy. "And this is my other brother Gaara"

"Hi" Sakura said unsurely as Kankuro looked her up and down. She suddenly felt very naked in her mini skirt and tank top.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Sakura packed a few of her longings into a bag a slung it over her shoulder. She said goodbye to her mother and ran outside and down the street.

'KNOCK KNOCK' Kankuro heard a knock at the door. He put down his 'dolly' mag and opened the door. Sakura stood before him wearing baggy cargo's and a loose fitting T-shirt.

"Hey" she greeted merrily.

"Hey, c'mon in" he stood aside to let her in. Tempted to smack her ass but decided against it. Temari ran down the stairs and glomped Sakura. "YOU CAME!" she cried.

Sakura stared at her "of course I came"

"I'll introduce you to the rest of the girls" Temari tugged on her hand and they rushed up the stairs.

The door flew open and before Sakura knew it, Temari was introducing random girls.

"This is Hinita, she's really quite and shy" Temari pointed at a purple haired girl who meekly waved. Sakura grinned "hey" she waved a small wave and saw the white eyed girl blush.

"This is Ten Ten" She pointed to a brown haired girl of which was arranged in two neatly placed buns. She smiled from her place on the floor.

"This is Ino" she pointed at a blond haired girl with blue eyes who jumped up. "Whoa is you're pink hair natural?"

"_Is your pink hair natural?"_ Gaara heard an obnoxious voice say from his sister's room. He was curious so decided to walk past.

He saw that pink haired girl from class that WILLINGLY sat next to him.

Sweet that pink haired vixen is going to be staying in OUR house…we should take her.

Shut the fuck up ass-hole.

**Hey you know you want a slice of that cheesecake!**

(yeah I'm eating cheese cake right now, it's sooooo GOOD!)

Whatever

**I'll be back! **Shukaku said menacingly as he voice faded out (Fading out is sooo cool!)

It was honestly a good question "Is it" the blonde asked again. Sakura scratched the back of her head "H-hai"

"Whoa really"

"Well unless my parents dye it while I sleep"

"Heheh Your funny"

Temari turned around "Gaara what are you doing standing in my door way?"

Gaara shook out of his daze "Nothing" he murmured and was about to walk away when a hand grabbed him.

"Hey you wanna hang out with us?" His sister asked.

"…No" he said in an annoyed tone.

"Awww c'mon you know you want to." She winked.

'She's beginning to sound like Shukaku' Gaara thought.

"Y'know what girls do at Sleep-overs?" Gaara raised his non-existent eyebrows. "We play truth or dare…and go down on each other." Kankuro was heard rushing up the stairs.

"Right Sakura?" Temari turned to the emerald-eyed woman and winked. Sakura catched on, for the sake of all the guys reading this fic.

Temari put her hands on the sides of Sakura's face and lent in. Their soft lips collided in an exchange of saliva. Kankuro joyous eyes twinkled as he watched two hot chicks make out. "I'm in!" he jumped on the bed next to Ten- ten who was cracking up laughing.

Gaara felt his pants get tightly uncomfortable and surpressed a groan, wishing it was him who was making out with the pink haired goddess.

Ohhh my…GOD Shukaku uttered. "My, my young Sakura, I never would have guess you drifted that way" Ino's eyebrows went halfway up her forehead in surprise. Sakura and Temari ignored her. 

"So Gaara, you wanna play with us?" Sakura pressed her body into Temari's who let out a majorly fake moan as Sakura nibbled her ear lobe.

Gaara couldn't speak to save himself so he just nodded.

A/N: I know, how crude am I, later yo' and don't forget to review!!!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I'MMMMMM BACK!!!!! Muahahahaha lol, here's the next chappie!

It was a dark night…well it was 11 at night but…whatever.

Everyone sat in a circle. Gaara had stumbled over to sit next to Sakura, well it was mainly Shukaku's doing as Gaara was in too much shock to do anything. Wouldn't you be if you saw your Sister make out with a random chick?

Ten-Ten finished chugging down her V energy drink and threw it into the middle of the circle.

Ino made the realization "there isn't enough guys here" she said gloomily.

"Hey I know a few guys" Sakura said.

"Trust you" Ino, said poking her tongue out. Sakura slashed her hand out so fast you would need a slow motion camera to see what the hell happened and grabbed Ino's tongue "put it back in your mouth or you'll loose it"

Hehe she's psychotic as well. The more screwed they are in the head, the better they are in bed!

That's really unwell.

**Hehee!**

Anyway Sakura flipped open her cell "Yo' NEJI ma man what up!?"

"YOU know NEJI!?" Hinita screamed. Sakura nodded silently.

"You wanna come on over to the sand sibs house? We're playing truth or dare and that chick you like is here!"

She held the phone away as a scream blared from it. "Is that a yes?"

She smiled and dialed another number "Heyyyy Naruto!"

"Hey Sakura-chan!"

"You want to come over to Gaara's house and play truth or dare?"

"Hell yes!"

"C'mon over!"

"See you soon Sakura!"

She hung up and dialed another number "Hey Shikamaru! You watching clouds? Hehe?"

There was an obvious grumble "You wanna come over to Temari's house and play truth or dare?"

Another grumble.

"Well, Naruto, Neji, Temari, Gaara, Kankuro, Hinita, Ten- ten and Ino"

Another Grumble.

"GREAT see you soon!"

"How do you know Neji?" Hinita asked.

"We're like this!" she crossed her fingers "I plus I do his make up for him!"

Everyone stared. Just then something flew into the window with a 'BANG!'

"Hey Naruto!"

"Hey guys!" He opened the window and fell in. Regaining his composure he shut the window and squirmed his butt in between Sakura and Temari "Hey ladies!" he smiled a toothy grin, and they both giggled.

Neji opened the door "Hey Sakura!"

"Neji!" they both had the girliest hug and sat down, Ten-ten fumed with anger.

"Troublesome" everyone heard someone say. The door flung open and Shikamaru walked in, with a bag. He sat down next to Temari.

So the sitting arrangements went like this.(Temari, Naruto, Sakura, Gaara, Kankuro, Hinita, Neji, Ten-ten, Ino, Shikamaru and back to Temari)

Everyone sat silently. "Shouldn't we get changed?" Ino spoke up.

"Y-yeah" Hinita stuttered.

"True" Sakura pulled out a top, a long one and a pair of short hipsters. She threw off the top she was wearing, revealing a singlet top over a bra. Gaara tried to stop Shukaku from jumping her.

"Sakura what are you doing?!" Temari Screamed.

"Changing…"

"Infront of all the guys?!"

"I'm sure they know what a woman looks like" She winked at few of the guys, who went as red as the paint on a fire truck.

"Have you no shame!?" Ino asked.

"I was kidding jezz, I've had lots of practice."

Everyone looked at her with 'WTF?!' written over their faces.

**Never would have guessed that she was the kind of girl that got around so much!** Shukaku said giddily.

Damn STRAIGHT!

"Not remotely what I meant" Sakura threw her sleeping shirt over her shoulders and put her arms through the holes. Undid her bra and pulled it out with professional like skills!

"I've been to a lot of sleep overs!" Sakura said as she undid her pants and slid her shorts on.

"Oh MY HIP!" Naruto fell over so his head was between her feet, looking up her nightshirt.

"You need some help there?" She asked him.

"Nah I'm good" he made himself comfortable. Until she kicked him "Pervert" she mumbled.

Hinita stood and walked over to the bathroom to get changed Ino jumped into Temari's bed.

"What are you doing in my bed?" Temari asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Getting changed" she said as threw her clothes on the floor from under the covers. Shikamaru blushed but no one noticed. Apart from you and me.

Hinta came out minutes later and blushed when Naruto ginned at her. She nearly fainted but sat back down.

All the guys stood up and walked into the bathroom to get changed. Ten-ten and Temari quickly changed.

Neji walked back just as Ten-ten pulled her singlet top over her boobs.

"Whew, lucky mate!" Sakura high-fived Temari.

" I'll say!" Ino whooped.

Sakura looked over at the window, kind of expecting she'd be looking out of it. Instead she saw a creepy guy with bugs crawling over his face. Jacking off. Nah I'm messing with yeah.

Ohhh wait.

White stuff splattered over the window.

The guy had dropped his yogurt.

Got you didn't I?

HEHEHE

"Hey!" Sakura flung the window open. "What's your name?"

"…Shino" he said instantly getting the hots for the pink haired goddess.

"Wanna play truth or dare?" she asked, tugging on his sleeve.

"Sure."

"MAY THE YOUTHFULNESS OF SPRINGTIME GUIDE YOU!!!" damn I hate it when people pop up out of no-where.

"AHHH" Sakura fell back wards, Shino, using his freaking awesome Ninja skills to catch her in a dip.

"Thanks Shino" Shino nodded and let her go.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked the green-spandex wearing teen.

"ROCK LEE!"

"…right"

"And Sakura, I have come to ask you on a date!"

"That's cute Lee, but I'm not interested." Lee's head dropped, he got PWNED! Lol.

"Oh but to make it up to you can play truth or dare with us!"

Lee brightened "Any chance to be with you dear cherry blossom, I shall take!"

Sakura reddened and pulled him inside.

'Arf arf!!!' Sakura heard a dog bark "KIBA!!!" Sakura yelled out the window.

"YO'?!" he yelled back, grabbing Akamaru.

"You wanna play truth or dare with us!?"

"HELL YEAH!!" and he ran into the house.

Just then the rest of the guys filed out of the bathroom. "Who the fucks that?" Kankuro asked as he pointed at Lee and Shino.

"This is Lee" Se replied poking Lee in the chest "And this is Shino" she poked Shino in the chest who gave the 'Live long in prosper' sign.

Now if you don't know what that is, it's when you show you hand kind of like the peace sign but you use all of the fingers and put the split between the ring finger and the middle finger. I think it's off Startrek.

Kiba burst through the door.

"Oh and this is Kiba"

Anyway back to the story…

"Whatever" Neji said.

So everyone sat down again.

Ten-ten crouched over Neji. Neji reddened.

"W-what are you doing?" She decided to play.

Her lips were a centimeter away from his, her hot breath flew over his chin and she replied with half lidded eyes. "Spinning the bottle"

"OHHHHHHHH NEJI GOT PWNED!!!" Sakura screamed and pointed.

A series of 'oooo's' and 'ahhhh's' were heard. And a few 'Neji got burned!'

The bottle spun and landed on Sakura. Ten-ten grinned. "Oh I have the perfect dare"

Soooo evil!

"Ohh yeah?" Sakura replied, so unscared!

"I dare you too make out with Temari, ohhh that's right! You got burned!!!"

"I did it before, I'll do it again" The guys didn't know what the Frick was going on but were eager to see some chick on chick action.

Sakura grazed her lips against Temari's. Don't worry she's not lesbo, they just like screwing with people's heads.

Temari's tongue glided over Sakura's bottom lip. Damn they were good actors.

Sakura squeezed Temari's boob. That's when Naruto fainted, Shino's eye's widened into dinner plates and the rest of guys were like "Oooo, ahh that's hot"

Lee murmured a "Holey crap that's soooo youthful"

Temari's Hand glided up Sakura's thigh, who let out a giddy school girl laugh. It was fake though, but hey, the guys didn't care. Damn they were watching to chicks go down on each other.

"You can stop now" Ten-ten was freaking out.

"Not done yet" Sakura said as she started giving Temari a hickey on her neck. Temari bit her lip.

As I said. Fuck they were good actors.

Sakura stopped and spun the bottle.

It landed on…

A/N: ooooo dat's right you got major 3rd degree burns!!!! Lol see yah!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: huh, you like that HUH! Well then here's the next chappie…obviously…NO DUH!

The bottle spun…for ten minutes before landing on…YO MAMA!, lol nah…NEJI!

"Oooooo, Neji truth or dare?" Sakura asked, everyone dying to see which he would choose.

Of course not wanting to seem all-uncool infront of the guy he chose "Dare me baby"

He choice was met by a smug smirk "Neji I dare you to…ahh shit I can't think of anything, that sucks!"

Everyone sweat dropped.

"I'll help you Sakura-chan!" Naruto said loudly in her ear.

"You'd do that for me?!" she said sarcastically.

"YEAH!" idiot.

Naruto whispers in her ear.

Whisper, whisper, whisper…see they're whispering.

"Okay Neji" Sakura said.

"Yeah?" Neji replied, totally awesome with anything that was about to happen.

"I dare you to put Ice down your pants!" she said nodding.

"OOOOOOO Neji got P00NED!!!" Naruto yelled.

"Shut up, you" he said pointing at Sakura "Go get the ice" Sakura giddily ran to fetch some ice and returned with a bucket full.

"Neji, open up!" Neji pulled his pants and under wear out so she could tip the ice in. Damn she didn't hold back either.

"MUAHAHAHAHA" she laughed insanely as Neji cringed and shook violently.

"Can I take it out now?" ha asked, blue in the face and teeth chattering.

"Nah"

"Why!?"

"Because I like to torment you" She replied, still grinning from ear to ear. And went to sit down. As did Neji, cringing all the way down.

Neji leaned over. His balls frozen and hurting like hell as the ice cubes dug into him.

The bottle spun and landed on GAARA!!!

Gaara stared evilly at the bottle, trying to make it spin a little more. Damn that rotten luck of his.

"I'm to fucking cold to think of a dare, so someone else make it." Neji lay back, trying to ignore the numbness down in his private 'region'.

Ino grinned. 'oh no that's not good'

**Damn right boy, we're fucked.**

"Subaku no Gaara, damn do I have a dare for you baby!"

Everyone waited. "I dare you to…Lick Kiba's armpit."

**Fuck she's evil!!!**

I'm going to die of poisoning.

Kiba pulled his top off, immediately flies came from no-where and buzzed around him. To make it worse, he was all sweaty. Gaara whined. Almost, the almighty Gaara of the sand doesn't whine.

Kiba Raised his arm "Lick away" he said grinning. Ewww and it was all hairy too. Aww that was going to stick to his tongue. God dammit.

Gaara stuck his tongue out and licked quickly. It felt so motion to him, his crappie life flashed before his eyes.

When he finished, he went green, it tasted soooo bad like…fish and curry and…Aww fuck this.

Gaara ran out the door to go puke somewhere.

"Ino that was evil" Ten-Ten said.

Ino grinned "yeah I know." Everyone shuffled away from her abit, or a foot.

Kiba put his shirt back on, ten minutes later Gaara re-entered the room, he looked like he'd just thrown up a car. And he'd never brushed his teeth sooo hard in his life.

So much…hair…never again.

Gaara quizzically bent over and flipped the bottle off. That's right Gaara puled the finger at a bottle, I would too if I had to do that. He spun it and it landed on….

A/N: Oooo that's right, I left a cliffy, ooo you got served! But I still love you!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I love you guys here's the next chapter!!!

The Bottle landed on…Naruto.

"Naruto, truth or dare.?" he smirked.

"Dare, me" Naruto grinned a toothy grin. He didn't want to sound like a poof compared to the other people that did dare.

"Later tonight after this stupid ass game I dare you to, go down to the fountain at the park and pour dish washing liquid in it, with out getting caught."

Many 'oooo's' were…ooed.

"Easy"

"Naked."

"WHAT!?"

"Put dish washing liquid in the park fountain…Naked."

"OOOO NARUTO GOT P00NED!!!" Neji laughed then sneezed. "Damn, I seriously can't feel my balls anymore people."

"Fine" he grumbled then spun the bottle. It landed on Kiba.

"Kiba ma' man!" Kiba looked…shifty.

"Yo'" he said trying to sound…unshifty.

"Truth or dare?"

Kiba wriggled uncomfortably, he had a decision to make. Loose his pride in doing a truth, loose his pride by doing a dare…easy.

"Truth"

"Sad guy, okay…are you gay?"

"What the hell? What kind of question is that?"

"A fucked up one, now answer it." Naruto glared at him with sapphire orbs.

"Totally untrue, completely false!"

"Are you so sure?"

Kiba looked at him, as did everyone else.

"Why look into the subject, Naruto?" Sakura asked with a smirk plastered on her face.

"I've seen something's" he replied looking at her cockily. He pulled a tape from no-where.

"What's that?!" Kiba asked, alarms going off in his head.

"Ohh just some…stuff." He pushed the tape into a video slot on Temari's TV. He pressed play.

"_Okay let's make this a quickie" _some random guy on the TV said.

"_Sure babe" _Kiba replied making out with the person who was clearly not a chick.

Kiba pressed the stop button, spat the video out, snapped it in half and threw it out the window.

"Fine, I'm gay" he glowered.

Naruto smirked triumphantly.

"But I'm seriously going to enjoy when you go to the park tonight. Naruto-_kun._"

Naruto swallowed hard.

And Gaara realized the lick on Kiba's armpit had gotten wrong on another level.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A/N: damn I crack myself up, I have no idea why I made him gay so don't hate me!!!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: I'm back with another installment for the fic…cuz I love you.

Kiba grumbled curses and spun the evil V bottle in the middle of their crooked circle.

It landed on Ino.

"Ohhh gosh, knowing Miss Piggy she'll probably pick truth!" Sakura said aloud.

"I will not forehead, Dare please!"

Kiba was too busy grumbling to care.

"Well since Kiba is too busy grumbling" told ya' "I'll dare you"

Ino gulped but didn't show her fear, "Fine with me!"

"Ino-pig, Ino-pig, Ino-pig, I dare you to put heavy duty duck tape over you trap, and after three more turns, let me rip it off."

Ino looked horrified, not being able to use her mouth was worse than no being able to use her arms. "F-fine" he muttered.

"What was that?" Sakura put a hand behind her ear. "Speak up piggy I can't hear you"

"FINE!"

Sakura grinned and pulled out some duck tape, and wrapped it round Ino's trap.

"Hey Sakura"

"Hm" She turned to Ten-ten. "Yeah?"

"Umm shouldn't we take the ice out now?"

"Ohh yeah, I know you want to Ten."

"What?! No not like that, it's just…look at him." She pointed at Neji who had icicles hanging from his nostrils.

"Whew, ummm yeah we should, but I ain't doing it." She held up her hands defensively.

Ten-ten groaned in protest (pleasure) as she put a hand down the prodigy's pants and scooped out many handfuls of melted ice.

Ino leaned over and spun the bottle.

It landed on Shino again. Not good for Shino

"Dare" he immediately said.

Ino grinned beneath her duck tape. She pulled a piece of paper from Temari's desk as well as a pen and wrote something on it. After she was finished, she handed to the brown haired teen.

He read over it twenty-one times. Over and over again, till he got it completely. Once he did, the dropped it.

"No way in hell am I doing that"

Ino just nodded as if she was saying. 'Yeah you are you little bitch.'

Shino groaned.

"What you get Shino?" Sakura piped up.

Coincidentally it was about him, and her…and a blanket…and…damn.

He handed it too him "Read it and find out" she grabbed the slip of paper.

She too read it twenty-one times, then dropped it in shock. "No way in hell" she said.

Not that he didn't want to…but he didn't like doing that with girls he just met.

"What you get?" Naruto asked, picking up the paper. "Damn too bad I can't read"

(Just joking)

"Kankuro, ma' man, can you read this too me?"

"Sure dude" he cleared his throat "I dare you, Shino to…" he paused with shock. "To…

A/N: oooo I got you!!!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Oooo I bet your eager to find out, ne?

Kankuro cracked laughing "Ooo shame!!" he pointed at Shino and Sakura. "I can't believe that Sakura has to let you hold a blanket around her while she gets naked…THEN YOU GET TO MAKE OUT WITH HER!!!…You lucky, lucky bastard."

Shino slumped his shoulders and Sakura repeatedly smacked her head on Temari's desk.

Ino laughed behind her gag. Sakura evilly glared at her blonde haired acquaintance. "Let's do this."

"What?" Shino asked, clearing out his ear with a pinkie.

"Let's do this"

"Man I must be getting really deft" he worked the pinkie harder into his ear.

Sakura groaned and snatched a blanket from Temari's bed. She wrapped it around herself and waited for Shino to come back to his senses.

"Hold it"

"…Okay" He held the blanket as tight as he could as she pulled her top off and slid her shorts off.

"Get in" she shrugged.

"…W-what!?" his eyes have never gotten this big before. "Are you insane!?"

"It's part of the dare, and plus it's not like we have to get into a relationship more than friends afterward, it's just a stupid dare"

"That's…true but…fine" he sighed.

She opened the blankets enough for him to get in. Ino had never laughed this hard in her life. "I hope you choke on your spit, Ino-pig" Sakura glared at her, she just laughed and gave the thumbs up in return.

Sakura leaned in. "You ready?" she asked Shino.

"Not that it matters"

"Sorry" she whispered.

"Not you fault"

Everyone backed away from Gaara who was letting off an angry, killing aura. Never had he seen so much green.

Sakura's plush, soft lips touched his. He held the blanket around her waist, so her could hold her properly. Her barren 'chest' pushed into his and he bit back a moan as his pants got tighter and tighter. Then they went into a full frontal make out session.

All the guys were getting off on the scene and all the girls thought it was some kind of romance movie. For them it was the Titanic all over again.

Sakura gasped as his hand rose up her side to meet her hardening breast.

Before Gaara and Shukaku could get up to kill the wanker who was touching his woman. There was the sound, A guy wearing a suit and a top hat entered the room. On his hat there were some words.

PDAO

That's right yo' I just invented the 'Public Displays Of Affection Officer'.

"PDA!" he screamed and pointed at Shino and Sakura. Shino broke away from Sakura.

"What the fuck man!" Shino screamed. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm the Public displays of affection officer, and if you don't stop what you doing, you will automatically get a fine of two-thousand dollars." He said matter of factly.

"Oooo tough break man" Kankuro said, "Yeah" Kiba agreed.

Sakura wrapped the blanket around her self and glared at Ino who was rolling around on the floor laughing. Shino sat back down dejectedly and the PDA officer left.

Shino sadly got up and spun the bottle as Sakura left the room to get dressed back into her clothes.

A/N: oooo Shino got P00ned!!! Big time!!!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: ahhh that was good. Here's the next chappie!!!

The bottle of doom, the new name the bottle had been dubbed with, stopped on Kankuro.

The depressed Shino sighed. "Hey man"

"Hey man" Kankuro could feel his pain "Dare me"

"I dare you to tell us the truth about your dolls"

"First off they're puppets" he replied just as calmly "Secondly, what do yo want to know?"

"Do you play with Barbies, because I've heard rumors"

"Ahhhh"

"Just come out with it man" Shino said, seriously not up for the whole trying to deceive him shit.

"Errr yeah, I like Barbie fairy Utopia best" He said blushing, Kiba clomped him "Me TOO!!!" he squealed, so they started having this massive conversation about random Barbie things.

Shino sighed and lay down on the ground. "Just spin the fricking bottle!" he yelled and put a hand over his face.

Sakura re-entered the room. Blanket in hand. She bent down next to the oblivious Shino and kissed his lips. He went ridged.

(Well I didn't want to say stiff, lol…That probably happened anyway.)

"You're a pretty good kisser Shino-_kun_" Sakura said into his air, the hot breath made Shino whimpered as she got up and sat back down next to Gaara who was fuming.

Kankuro hastily spun he bottle and continued his dodgy conversation with Kiba.

In the background Lee was crying because Shino got to make out with Sakura and he didn't.

Speaking of Lee the bottle had landed on him, he stopped his crying, tears still in his eyes "uh, oh" he said.

Kankuro grinned. "Lee. Lee, Lee, Lee" Lee looked up at him, as scared as hell. "Truth or dare"

Lee looked at the other guys in the room who were grinning insanely "Well, I"

"C'mon Lee don't be a pussy" Gaara said emotionlessly.

Lee stuck his chest out "In all that is youthful…DARE!"

"Okay Lee I dare you to streak around the neighbors back yard."

Lee's eyes dropped out of his head and rolled across the floor. "W-WHAT!?"

"I said-"

"I know what you said, but…why!? WHY GODDAMMIT?!" man he was irritated.

"Remember Lee…FOR THE YOUTHFULNESS OF SPRING TIME" Sakura said, pumping a fist.

"Yes Sakura, you are right, Gai-sensi would be ashamed if I didn't." Lee said taking off his top revealing his toned abs and insanely hairy chest.

Sakura gagged.

He slid his Ninja sandals off and removed his pants with a painful 'PING!'.

Only thing left was his…

Bright. Red. Undies.

"Do that outside" Kiba said, waving him off. Lee smiled and nodded.

To say the least, fuck it was cold out side.

Lee's nipples hardened and his breath looked like smoke. The authoress cracked up laughing at the though of Lee having hard nipples.

Lee peeled off his red Undies, jumped the fence and ran.

Meanwhile….

A couple was sitting in their lounge watching a movie and having a glass of wine.

"Honey" the woman, asked her husband.

"hmmm" he said, totally uninterested.

"There's a naked boy with a bowel cut, huge eyebrows and a hairy chest running through our back yard"

"That's nice dear" she smirked at him. "Whoa, he's got a bigger package than you do, look at that thing, swinging in the wind."

"I'll kill that little bastard!" the husband got up and fetched his shovel. Lee was running around obliviously.

"Oi YOU!" the middle-aged man yelled and chased the naked boy around the back yard with his shovel.

"AHHHHHHHH!" and he ran around in circles.

The woman watched intently from inside, sipping her wine, giddily watching the young boy running around her backyard.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A/N: I know, majorly fucked up!


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: well I really don't have much to say, apart from. Yo' how you doin'?

Lee was sitting in the circle, fully dressed and slightly bruised, he obviously got thwacked by the guy with the shovel.

Shameful.

He painfully leaned over and cringed whilst spinning the bottle.

HINITA!

"Hinita, truth or dare?" he asked, rubbing his butt that got caned big time buy the guy with the shovel.

"T-truth"

(Damn I can't think of anything……………….fuck that sucks!!!…………mhmmmm…………OOOOO…got it!)

"If you had to go out with any guy in this room, y'know against your will, like…a Martian jumped through the window, held a gun at your head and told you to do so, who would you youthfully choose?"

Hinita pinkened "N-Naruto"

Naruto grinned "Ooo yeah that's right I'm a player!!! Ooo yeah I'll put a cap in your ass WHOOT!"

"…No Naruto" Sakura said shaking her head.

Naruto looked down, totally bummed. Gaara snorted and Naruto punched him.

"Awww that's hurts y'know" He sadly rubbed his now-bruised arm.

"So why would you ask Naruto out?" Lee asked.

Hinita went red and feel backward.

"We shall never know." Kiba said to everyone.

"Indeed, Luke" Kankuro said and they continued their conversation about dolls.

Twenty minutes later Hinita woke up.

"Okay Hinita you can spin the bottle now." Lee said.

"What, you not going to pry into my love life?"

Lee shook his head. "Y-your sure?"

Lee nodded "P-positive?"

Lee nodded.

Hinita looked kind of disappointed and spun the bottle.

It landed on….

Shikamaru. "Oooo troublesome."

"T-truth or D-dare?"

"Dare, truths are too troublesome"

"I don't have a dare…"

"I GOT ONE!" Naruto shouted. Everyone looked at him expectantly.

The next-door neighbors' dog started barking really loudly. "I dare you to beat the next-door neighbors dog with a rolling pin"

"WHAT!?" everyone yelled.

Shikamaru looked at Temari "Can I borrow a rolling pin?"

"Sure" she said blushing faintly.

Shikamaru followed Temari to the kitchen.

In the hot as kitchen…

Temari carefully pulled out a heavy, marble rolling pin.

"This dog's ass is mine!" Shikamaru said as he opened the front door and left.

"What a man" Temari fanned herself.

Everyone looked out the window and saw Shikamaru with his back against the fence, humming the mission impossible theme. He tripped.

"Argg troublesome."

The dog was hard out barking. Shikamaru's rolling pin was at the ready.

SMACK, SMACK, SMASH, WHOLLOP, THWACK!!!!

The dog yelped.

"Oooo, he got that dog good!" Kankuro said and comforted Kiba as he cried for the dog.

Kiba muttered "May ye' rest in peace"

"Amen" said everyone.

Shikamaru climbed back in through the window. "Man, that was troublesome"

He handed the bloody rolling pin back to Temari "Here you go, troublesome woman"

She hugged it close "I shall cherish it forever!"

While walking to his seat, Shikamaru bent down and spun the bottle.

Temari glared at the bottle as it slowed down and landed on her. She saw Shikamaru grin.

"Crap" she said under her breath.

"Truth or dare?"

"T-truth"

"Ooohh Temari you poofter!" Sakura yelled, "Pick Dare!"

"Fine D-dare"

Shikamaru smirked. "STOP SMIRKING, BASTARD!" Temari fumed at him with clenched fists.

"I dare you to strip down to your underwear, go across the street and ask for a cup of sugar"

Temari gapped, as did everyone else. Except Gaara because he was just too fucken cool.

A/N: yeah I wasn't too proud of that chapter, I wonder if you were though, I know let's find out in a review.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Kay here's the half naked Temari then!!

6666666

Everyone cracked up laughing or wolf whistled as Temari Stripped down to her matching purple underwear. Damn she really wanted to kick Shikamaru, even though that smug smirk looked totally hot.

"Oh yeah" Sakura said and put her hand across Ino's mouth, thus ripping the duck tape off.

"OWWWW" Ino yelled and rubbed her now red mouth.

"Hehe"

"Damn your evil"

"Nooo, really!?"

Feel the sarcasm!!! And feel the tightness of Gaara's pants!!!

Damn it was cold outside! Temari rubbed her arms and held the class cup. She looked up at her room, everyone waved at her. Except Gaara, Because he was just to fucken cool.

She walked up to the house in question, all the lights were on and she nervously knocked on the wooden door.

And old woman answered it "Ohh well hello child" She greeted her and handed her a piece of hard candy.

"Ummm Hi, could I have a cup of sugar, by any chance?" Temari held her cup out.

"Oh well sure child, doing some late night baking?"

"Umm yeah"

The old woman handed her back her cup, now filled to the brim with heavenly sugar.

"Have a good night deary."

"Okay, g'night"

The old woman closed the door and Temari was as confused as hell.

Temari entered back into room "Now that was fucking wack!" she gave the cup of sugar to Shikamaru, who drank it, happily.

She spun the bottle and it landed on Ten-Ten.

"Ten, truth or dare."

"Dare bitch"

"Strip tease, please" she replied, putting her clothes back on.

"YAY!!!" Ten-Ten pulled her top off as Temari turned the stereo. The coolest song was on.

"My milkshakes! Bring all the boys to the yard and they're like, it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours I could teach you but I'd have charge." Ten-Ten Sang along with the music as she stripped off her top and pants.

"WHOOO" all the boys cheered.

All the girls got majorly p.oed!

"Hey I can strip better than she can!" Ino said as she pulled her top off.

"Hey no-way I can do it way better than her." Sakura said as she got up and slid her shorts off.

Ohh yeah the guys were getting off on this…

Well apart from Kiba cuz he's gay!

So all the girls got up and stripped, apart from Hinita.

CUZ SHE'S GAY TOO!!!

Nah I'm just screwing with yah, she's just too damn shy!

Oh and there was a big blood pool in the carpet because all the guys got nosebleeds, Naruto's shot out so hard he flew out the window.

"Ahh well that was fun." Sakura sat back down and put her clothes on. Gaara's mouth was agape and Shukaku was screaming full on stuff about her. Quote unquote 'hot bod'

Ten-Ten bent down, not good for the guys behind her.

"Whoa Ten put it away!" Shino covered his eyes.

"Opssies sorry!" she covered her but with the back of her hand awkwardly and spun the bottle with her foot instead,

It landed on Kiba, and he cried, as did his dog Akamaru after it jumped out of his jacket.

"AWWWWWWWW" all the girls cooed but it got all pissed and ran after Ino barking its head off.

"Okay Kiba" Ten-Ten started. "Truth or dare?"

"D-dare"

"Okay then I dare you to get your back and chest waxed!"

Kiba stared in horror.

Ten-Ten pulled out a waxing kit. "Front or back?"

"F-front!" he stumbled to find words and grimaced as Shino laughed at his misfortune. "Its not nice to laugh at others misfortunes" Kiba gritted his teeth.

"Ohh but it's still funny" Shino pushed his glasses further up his nose.

"Grrr" Kiba…grred. Kiba stripped off his top revealing a hairy chest that would put Austin Powers to shame.

Ino gagged and Ten-Ten made a distraught face as she spread the sticky yellow goo over Kiba's chest. Ten-Ten rubbed the paper on and pulled as hard as she could.

Kiba's eyes shot open from the shock of the pain.

After a moment… "OWWWWW FUCK THAT!" He got up "No way in hell…fuck that!" He held his hands up defensively.

"Aww c'mon Kiba you look really silly with that hairless line across your chest"

Kiba glared hatefully at the simmering bucket of puss colored stuff.

"Fine" he said hatefully and flipped the bucket of waxing gel off…that's right people; he flipped off an inanimate object.

He lay back down and Ten-Ten smeared it up his side and over his nipple.

"Oooohhh she's doing the nipple" Naruto put a hand to his nipple, hidden under his shirt. It's okay fan girls he didn't die when he plummeted out of a two-story window, it's all good.

"Oh that sucks" Kankuro said.

"It's gonna hurt like a bitch" Shikamaru said, "How trouble some, what a drag."

She rubbed the paper on and ripped it off with all her might.

"OWW YOU FREAKING BITCH THAT FUCKING HURTS!!!"

She cracked up laughing "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING!!!??? STOP LAUGHING"

"Aww you pussy" she said as she tipped half on the contents of the bucket over his chest.

"Awww Nah fuck that shit." Neji said. Yes he had emerged from his coma enduing hypothermia.

'RIPPPPPP"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" echoed down the quiet neighborly street.

Kiba had tears in his eyes "Oooo you better watch out while your sleeping cuz I'm going to fucking kill you" he said, laughing maniacally and Ten giggled.

"Roll over."

"OOOOO burn" everyone else said. Kiba hesitantly rolled over. Ten-Ten poured the Luke warm goo on and spread it around with a wooden stick.

The speedily rubbed another piece of paper on.

And ripped it off.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BITCH!!!! FUCK YOU!!!!" echoed through the streets, this time setting off car alarms.

Ten-Ten was lying on the floor laughing her ass off. Tears coming from his eyes, Kiba picked up his T-shirt and put it on.

Kiba spun the bottle.

"Naruto Truth or dare."

Naruto pulled a smug little smile and said, "Dare me hairless wonder."

Kiba…grred "Naruto, I dare you to ring someone and ask if they'd like a bed time story, if the do, tell them one."

"WTF!?" said everyone.

"Hey I think it's pretty funny" Kiba said folding his arms, making the blood seeping through his shirt more noticeable.

Naruto picked up the phone and pulled out the yellow pages. "Hey I'm just going to look up something!!!" he went to the M section of the yellow book and read it for a second.

"Hey dudes check this out. McDougall, what kind of name is that!?" He laughed.

Everyone looked at him like "no"

Just then a ginger haired girl jumped in through the window and smashed his head over with a cricket bat. "You take that back bitch!"

He rubbed his head. "I take it back, I take it back"

"That's right" she yelled and jumped back out the window.

"What the hell was that all about?" Lee asked.

"Dunno, maybe her last name was McDougall?" Shino said in a 'duh!" voice.

"Okay fuck it" Naruto dialed a number.

'Ring ring, ring ring.'

"Hewooo?" the cutest little boy answered the phone, holding it with two hands.

"Oh hey little boy, would yo like a bed time story?"

"Yesh pwease!" said the little boy.

"Once upon a time there was this fine as pink haired chick, oo she had a tight ass son!, FINE, and there lived a hot as super model with blonde hair and sexy blue eyes, and all the girls were like, ooo fuck me hard pimp!!! And He was like, ooo yeah duff man!"

"…What does 'fuck'mean?"

Before Naruto could answer the parent picked up the phone. "Hello? Who is this?"

The little boy was obviously telling his dad about the bed time story. "What kind of sick story are you telling my son?! You better not ring this house again or I'll find you and kill you!"

"Y-yes sir!" Naruto hung up the phone.

At the 'Little' boys house.

Haku and Zabuza were sitting on a shitty couch "I can't believe they freaking fell for that dude" Haku said.

"I'll say" Zabuza took a mighty hit from his bong. "Ahh shit son" He said like Cartman before passing out.

Haku drew in on his dooby and passed out from laughing really hard at his teacher.

"What happened?" Hinita asked.

"His dad caught me"

"O.o" is all she said.

Naruto spun the bottle, still shaking from his argument with the kids' dad.

GAARA!!!! Naruto grinned up at him.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare" he said unfazed.

"I dare you to sit in Sakura's lap for three more turns."

Ooo what a glare, yeah his glare could fry up some fish and chips.

The sound of Sakura patting her lap was heard. Gaara groaned, but any excuse to be close to Sakura was good enough.

Gaara sat down. "Tell me if I'm crushing you" he said, crossing his arms.

"Hmmm" she replied and caressed his cheek.

(O.o) K

Gaara spun the bottle with a tinge of pink harboring his cheeks.

Ten-Ten was its victim…again…

"Ohh what I just did one." Ten-ten sighed dejectedly.

"Don't worry I'll go easy on you." He hicced when Sakura pulled him in between her legs and hugged him from behind.

(Doggy styles…lol just jokes!…spooners!)

Non the less he continued, wanting to get his evil dare out of the way so he could lean into Sakura's touch in a dignified way. "I dare you to let Neji feel your boobs under your top, skin to skin."

She nearly fainted…so did he…

Neji got up and sat next to Ten. Sakura stifled a laugh into Gaara's shoulder.

"You didn't sneeze did you, because this is my favorite shirt."

"I laughed."

"Good, I hate boogers."

Neji's hands were under her breasts, under her top. There had never had so much blood in his cheeks.

But Ten-Ten did and she reminisced on the day she was at the swimming pool and her top feel off.

Lol

Neji's palms grazed over her hard nipples and she looked into his eyes. He noticed that her eyes were clouded with lust, he took advantage and smoothed his lips against hers, he half lidded, lustful eyes closed as they went on a full frontal make out scene that would put Icha Icha Paradise to shame. To bad Kakashi was here to see it.

Ohh wait he was…Jacking off…

Nah I'm just screwing with you…

Wait…white stuff splattered over the window…

…Man everyone has a crazy habit for dropping their yogurts…

OO but I got you good didn't I?

"Ten-Ten spin the bottle" Ten-ten pulled her face off Neji's who began to suck on the flesh on her neck. Moaning, she spun it.

It landed on…Hinita…damn.

"Truth or dare Hinita." She asked her voice low with lust and wanting. Damn I'd be good at doing a lemon.

"D-dare"

"I dare you to act commando for the rest of the game."

"LOL!" said everyone. Hinita acting commando. Who knew!

Ten-Ten went back to her face sucking and spit swapping.

"SIR Yes SIR!!!" Hinita said giving her a salute

"Whoa" said Naruto, totally turned on by this new Hinita.

Hinta spun the bottle of doom…

"Lee" Lee looked up and realized the bottles' nozzle was pointing to him.

"Dare" he said I mean c'mon he just streaked around the neighbor's backyard and was chased by the owner with a shovel. Damn he was ready to die!

"I dare you to say 'In my pants' after everything you say…SIR!" she finished with a salute.

O. said everyone, trying not to laugh.

"Great dare Hinita, In my pants."

Hinita giggled mannishly, hey she was still doing the commando thing. Just then around twenty people ran down the road.

"Whoa it looks like there's a party."

Hinita looked at Lee expectantly. He sweatdropped "In my pants" he said between gritted teeth.

Everyone laughed. He spun the bottle.

"Shino! Truth or dare…in my pants"

"Dare!"

"I dare you to youthfully shave your legs…in my pants"

Temari whipped out a 'Venus' shaver, a pink one and handed it too the insect expert.

Smearing lotion on his hairy as legs he pouted. The razor ran up his leg and he washed the razor out in water that magically appeared from nowhere.

After half and hour of intently shaving his legs, he admired the smoothness on his now unhairy legs.

"Very smooth" he felt his leg and stuck it out in a pose. Now his legs looked like they belonged to a woman.

The boys stuck their tongues out in distaste.

"That's just nasty!" said Naruto. For one I would agree with you.

Shino started shaving his toes, y'know the little hairs on the knuckle of you toes?

"Ohh dude stop, spin the bottle" said Kankuro.

"FINE!" he said and didn't notice Sakura slipping estrogen tablets in his drink.

LOL!

It spun, and spun, and spun…everyone stroked thier beards. Shino shaved his…

"Shikamaru, truth or dare?" Shino asked in an evil voice.

"Dare" he said totally uninterested.

"I dare you to speak in a fake accent for the rest of the game"

Shika sighed "Ooo yah, caupushgah"

I don't know what that is.

Everyone cracked up laughing. He sighed again and spun the bottle, muttering something about troublesome people.

"Neji, the prodigy truth or dare yah?" Shikamaru asked, still not caring, that is so hard core.

"Dare me." He said admiring nails.

"I dare you to prank call someone yah!!!."

Neji nodded in approval and picked up the phone. "I'm going to do the 'why'd you kick my dog thing'…it's going to be good."

'Ring ring, Ring ring.'

"Hello?"

"Hi is Abtar there?"

"Who?"

"Abtar"

"Ok may I ask who's speaking please?"

"This is Kerpal."

"Who."

"Kerpal!"

"Ok one moment please."

The sound of the girl yelling to someone was heard.

"Hello" a male voice greeted

"Hi, I was just calling cuz I lived down the street from you and your daughter, come to my house and kicked my dog."

"Pardon."

"Your daughter come on my property and kicked my dog and now my dog needs operation."

"She kicked you?"

"She kicked my dog!"

"Which daughter?"

"The one who just answered the phone."

The sounds of the guy yelling at the girl were heard.

"No" the guy said.

"What?"

"No"

"Yes she did, I saw then I saw her at your house and…why did she do it?"

"She said she didn't"

"She did she's lying! She lying to you fucking guy!"

"Where are you speaking?"

"I am speaking from my house."

"Where do you live?"

"Down the street from you." Everyone started cracking up laughing.

"You know where I live, my dog she kicked it, and now I'm going to fuck her."

"Oh no, no"

"Don't lie you fucking guy"

"Hey why…don't talk like that"

"Fuck you! You know damn right what she do."

"Yeah but who kicked your dog?"

"Your daughter kicked my dog"

"Which daughter?"

"You know damn right!, You bastard"

The girl exchanges phones.

"Hello?"

"Hello"

"Yeah"

"Why you kick my dog?"

"Hello, may I ask who's speaking please?"

"You know damn right, It's Kerpal."

"Who the hells this?"

"It's Kerpal"

"Who's Kerpal, we don't know Kerpal"

"Oh yes you do, you kicked my dog today"

"Dog?"

"DOG!"

"We don't even- no one's even been-"

"You don't act stupid, you tell your dad that I'm going to sue him, he's going to go to jail."

"Okay where the hell do you live?"

"I live on your street"

"On my street?"

"Y'know"

"And your saying one of us kicked your dog?"

"Yes"

"Where about's do you live?"

"You know damn right!"

"No we do not know damn right, we don't even know you!"

"Yes you do" he said in a low voice.

"Why where the hell do you live?"

"You don't ask dumb question"

"You live on Manitude?"

"No you, you just shut up, you try to confuse, I'm going to call the police, and then you are going to go to jail."

"You damn right call the police, cuz we don't know what the hell you're talking about"

"You do not tell me damn right"

"Yeah we don't know what you're talking about."

"You do not swear at me…I'm going to kill you"

"You're going to kill us?"

"No, no I was just kidding, you just tell your dad that I am going to get my lawyer and he's going to arrest you."

The girl started talking to her family members "I don't know who the hell he is."

"Hanji!"

"Okay you just go ahead and call the police, cuz we don't know what the fuck your talking about."

"You don't ever tell me too fuck!, you say bad word."

"Then why do you talk to us this way when you have no proof."

"Fuck you, you, you do not tell me fuck you! Okay you?"

"Please just get lost okay?"

"Fuck you, you're going to jail."

"We don't who the hell you are, and your calling us all these obscene-

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up"

"I don't know you."

"Shut up, shut up, shut up… you shut up you"

"Don't tell me to shut up, I don't know you."

"Shut up, shut up…you stink"

"Ohh you stink too"

"No you don't!!!"

"Yes you do."

"I do not stink."

"Yes you do"

"Fuck you"

A/N: ah whoa that was a lot, later yo' I don't own the 'you kick my dog thing' group X made it. They rock!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: last chappie was pretty fucked up ne? &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Neji hung up the phone and cracked up laughing, as did everyone else.

"Oh damn" Ino said wiping away a tear "That was rich"

Neji smirked and spun the bottle.

"Temari" Ooo said everyone.

"Temari, truth or dare?"

Ooooo said everyone. She shrugged and smirked. "Dare me hottie"

"I dare you to impersonate four people in the room and we have to guess who they are"

"Okay, here's one" he pulls a good guy pose.

"Lee" said everyone.

"Okay here" she went over to a corner and started brooding.

"Gaara" said everyone, Gaara looked kinda pissed.

"Okay third one" she lay on the floor and stared up at the roof.

"Shikamaru"

"Last one" she pointed to the ceiling and started yelling believe it!

"NARUTO!"

"YEAH!" Temari yelled and spun the bottle.

"KANKURO MY BROTHER!!!"

"TEMARI MY SISTER!!!"

"TRUTH OR DARE BROTHER?"

"DARE ME!!!!"

"I dare you to head bang to classical music in your car, in public, tomorrow"

OOO yeah he got served a plate of fish and chips, yo!

"YEAH!" Kanky said, totally hyped up on the idea and spun the dreadful bottle of doom.

It spun and landed on!! Dun dun dun duuuunnnnnnnn…

INO!!!

"Ino truth or dare?"

"Dare"

"You going to the gym tomorrow?"

"…Yeah" she said unsurely.

"I dare you to work out at the gym with something stuck up your ass."

O.o said everyone, including me, cuz I'm not a lesbian!!!!

"…Okay…it's a dare, guess I have to do it" She looked over at Shino who was admired his freshly shaven legs. She shuddered.

She bent over and spun the bottle. KIBA it landed on…

"Awww" he groaned, hoping he didn't have to wax anything else.

"Kiba, truth or dare?"

"Have you seen the movie, candy man?"

He shook "Hell that movie was scary."

"Well then I dare you too turn off the lights and say candy man three times."

Kiba gulped, the big pussy!…

'Switch' the lights went off.

"Candy man, Candy man…candy man" he squeaked.

The lights switched on again. "Whew" he breathed out.

He spun the bottle…ooo Sakura got the burn cuz it landed on her.

Oooooooo said everyone.

"Dare" she automatically said, oh and if you're wondering, yeah Shino's still playing with his legs. "They're so smooth and silky" you could hear him say.

"Okay Sakura I dare you too take a shower with Gaara."

Gaara glared daggers at the dog boy, man if looks could kill, Kiba would have been mutilated, resurrected, mutilated worse than before. Cloned and Gaara would have mutilated his clones too.

**Oh happy day! **

Damn this sucks… You get to see her naked, IN THE SHOWER…you should fuck her… 

Ewwwwwwwww

Oh you know you want to, she'd be like, Ooo Gaara harder, oooo yeah, faster Gaara!

Sakura grabbed his hand "I could use a shower" she said seductively.

**Ohhh yeah duff man.** Said Shukaku.

Gaara eeped as he dragged him off to the bathroom for a bit of R&R.

A/N: oh yes, there will be lemons, you have been warned.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: muhahahahahahahaha damn I'm hell evil!!! Beware the lemon!!!

Gaara was pushed into the bathroom by Sakura, who slammed the door shut with her foot and leaned against it.

"Right, I have a plan" she said.

Gaara raised a skin like eyebrow. "How so?"

"Well, truth be told I really don't feel like taking a shower with a guy I just met today"

**Damn **said Shukaku.

Yeah that sucks

Gaara's mouth curved upward. "Well we could use this as a chance to get to know each other a little better." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"You wish"

"What if I said I had a six pack?"

"I prefer a keg"

Somewhere a fat man sneezed.

A voice was heard outside the door "It's a dare, you have to do it! Don't make me come in there!" it was Ino.

"Fuck off you little pervert or I'm going to slap you silly!" Sakura said.

Gaara shakes his head "Sillllly"

"FINE gosh idiots!" she starts undressing, slowly sliding off her top, revealing her hot rack.

"Umm Gaara" Sakura points to Gaara's pants. Gaara reddens. "Oh, oh it's an illusion, it the pants, as matter of fact I'm taking these pants back to the pants store first thing tomorrow morning" he then whispers "Don't act like not impressed" his inner demon giggles.

Gaara starts taking off his pants nervously. Revealing his wiggles boxers, with pictures of Jeff dancing.

"Why is Jeff on your boxers Gaara?"

All the others on the other side of the door giggled at the thought of Gaara wearing boxers with the wiggles on them.

"I'd do Jeff any day" replied Gaara.

The other people exploded in laughter. And then a voice cries out "Trumboning?"

(Trumboning is highly sad sexual position that I will not describe to you or, encourage you to do, unless asked of course)

Sakura turned on the shower, meanwhile Shukaku was doing a happy dance.

Oh yeah, gigidy gigdy, we get to take a shower with an extremely hot chick…NAKED…you should fuck her.

Oh yeah, I intend to, with my awesome Ninja skills.

**And you're not going to think of Jeff while you're doing it right?**

No, no, no, of course not, I mean I'm not that sad.

You say that uneasily. Shut up man. I'm going to pleasure town, oh yeah. 

Meanwhile Sakura was just staring at Gaara who looked rather funny just standing there in his boxers looking confused, she swore she could faintly hear something coming from his direction happily celebrating.

"Uh Gaara?" she tapped him on the shoulder.

"ITS MY PIE! I mean, uh, what?"

"Are we going to do this or what?"

"Oh yes, let's get on with it"

"Wouldn't it be all the more mood setting if I took off your underwear?" Gaara mumbled.

OH YEAH! Come on out pussy and play. Hehe.

"I suppose it would be appropriate, I mean you're going to see it anyway" Sakura replied smiling. 

Gaara then slid Sakura's underwear down and there it was the reason why all men live, a can of beer! I'm just fucking with you, it was her pussy. He looked up at her and she was looking away meekly, he smiled to try and reassure her that it was Ok. She then slid down to remove his boxers as she did, they pinged (making that cool sound we all love) off his great manhood which was extended.

"….." Sakura was speechless.

**DON'T ACT LIKE YOU'RE NOT FUCKING IMPRESSED BITCH! **

Sadly only Gaara could hear that.

Sakura couldn't help herself, she thrusted his erect manhood into her gaping mouth.

Gaara being the sad little virgin that he is, didn't know what hell to do, so started barking like a dog.

"WOOF, WOOF!!!!"

Sakura stopped.

"Gaara what are you doing?"

"Oh right…MEOW, MEOW!"

Everyone on the other side of the door where like "WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY SMOKING?"

Gaara shifted uncomfortably and motioned her towards the shower.

"Gaara are you a virgin?" she looked at him like…yes you are we all know.

The people on the other side of the door where pressed up so hard against it nearly caved in. This was it, the 1 million-dollar question.

"Does it count if the evil voice inside my head isn't."

Everyone sweatdropped.

"No Gaara, it doesn't"

Whoa what a moment killer.

Gaara lowered his head, looking at his drooping manhood.

A/N: LOL! My friend is helping me write this chappie, so that's why it's so fucked up!!!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: HERE'S JOHNNY!!!! Lol we be back in town, bigger than ever, and yes, we've measured.

The friend says: everytime these appear with words inside it means I'm saying something Sillllly…

Sakura pushed Gaara into the shower. "But we can change that, can't we Gaara?"

"OOOOOOOOOOO" said everyone on the otherside of the door.

Gaara didn't need to say anything, his massive erection said it all. Suddenly his Dick started singing.

"I'm a lumber jack and I'm okay, I sleep all night and I work all day"

"Who the fuck sings the lumber jack song when they're about to get they're groove on, way to kill the moment man!" Kankuro yelled.

"Well it sounds like they're finally doing it, they're finally having sex." Kiba said.

A little boy popped out of knows where. "Mummy what's sex?"

"First of all I'm a guy, second of all…when a mummy and a daddy, love each other very much, the mummy hires a detective bear, to follow the daddy, cuz he's been awfully late working for the past couple of weeks, then the detective bear, finds the daddy with a slut bag whore in the Jacuzzi, as naked as the day they were born, playing…. chess. Or with chest should I say."

What the fuck are we smoking, cuz it ain't tobacco.

Gaara shoved it inside Sakura's mouth to shut it up.

Gaara had never felt such pleasure in his life. The voice in his head spoke up…

**Suck me beautiful!!!**

Gaara leaned back enjoying the moment, his cum shot out like and explosion. Sakura sat up.

"Oh god you've poisoned me"

"Huh?"

"Your cum tasted like barbecue chips, I hate barbecue chips" (This actually happened to my friend)

"Baby I can change!"

A random, tiny banana popped out of the shower drain "I'M A BANANA"

"You sure are" said the tiny apple that popped out with it.

The both jumped back in screaming "WHEEEEEEEEE"

"Oh fuck it, lets fuck" Sakura jumped on his Dick and started pounding him, banging him hard against the shower wall.

**Oh baby, yeah, this is a REAL mans life Gaara!**

Getting rapped aggressively is a real mans life? Gaara thought.

**Of course it fucking is you fucking pussy I mean you were a fucking fridget in your fucking teen years you didn't even look at porn or fucking even jerk off like most normal fucking people! How did you think I felt? A total sex god like myself being trapped in a fucking cock suckers body.**

You're so conceited. Gaara thought to himself. Were you suppose to be having a conversation with the evil spirit in your head which one?… lol while you're having sex?

**You know what, FUCK YOU! I'm taking over.**

No, wait. No don't. I didn't mean it! Please no, you'll make me into a horny fuck.

**That's the idea.**

Shukaku then takes over Gaara's body WHEEEEEEEE IM A BANANA! and presses Sakura up against the wall and starts thrusting his tongue in her mouth, Sakura (being the dirty little slut she is) knew what was going on and liked it.

"OH BABY! GIVE IT TO ME BABY UH HUH, UH HUH!" Sakura yelled.

He then gave it to her…which will be continued in the next chapter cuz I just love to irk you muhahahah

A/N: are we fucked up or what!!!!


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I'm eating some chicken nibbles right now, but I don't think I cooked them right…shit. Oh my friends not here anymore so it's just little old me, this is going to continued…not as silly…a bit more serious, cuz when me and my friend are together, we act like total retards and think of the most idiotic stuff, lol, here you go.

Sakura stopped Gaara/ Shukaku from making out with her. "Gaara, will you wash me?"

(Yeah these chicken nibbles definitely weren't cooked right…damn)

Gaara looked at her like, Wtf? "Umm, okay?" he grabs a wash...poofy thing and started washing her, thinking 'okay this chick is smoking something'

"Oooo Gaara, mmmm that's feels sooooo good!" her head flicked back in ecstasy.

Gaara looked around the room, mainly the window. "WHAT THE Fuck!?!" pressed against the window, breathing heavily was Sasuke.

He breathed heavily and pressed his face against the window. Sakura screamed.

_Meanwhile…in the other room…_

"What the hells going on in there?" Ino asked as everyone pressed harder against the door.

Suddenly, there was a smash of glass, everyone spun around to see Choji, dressed up like catwoman.

"CHOJI!?!?!?!" yelled everyone.

"I am not this Choji of which you speak…I AM CATWOMAN!"

Young Khonohamaru climbed in through the window liking an ice cream. "And this is my side kick…GREEN LANTERN!"

Khonohamaru waved and continued licking his ice cream. Everyone stared at them like, Wtf? Well wouldn't you be?

" I have sensed a disturbance in the force"

O.o

"COME GREEN LANTERN WE MUST FIGHT THE PERIL!!!" Choji smashed the door down, Gaara and Sakura where standing in the shower, quickly putting their clothes on. Sasuke was at the window breathing heavily again. It sounded like he was having an asthma attack.

"Ehhhhhhggg, ehhhhhhhhhrgggg, errrggggggg" lol.

Choji shot his plasma cannon at the dodgy Sasuke. Sasuke did three triple flips and landed gracefully back on his feet in a gymnast's arena. Three of the judges gave him a ten but one unimpressed one gave him a six, Sasuke killed him with his Sharingan.

Everyone watched in crazed silence at what was happening, suddenly the police showed up and tacked Choji, Sasuke started running away but an oncoming pig car pulled a P.I.T maneuver on him and accidentally ran him over.

The cop got out of the car "Ooops"

"POLICE BRUTALITY, POLICE BRUTALITY!!!" Choji screamed as he was hauled to his feet in cuffs, kicking his feet. A police officer pwned him with a stun gun in his arm.

"Ahhhhh FUCK!!!" Choji screamed. Khonohamaru giggled.

"Shut up Lantern, when I get out of this, you getting a HARD ass fucking!" Khonohamaru dropped his ice cream.

A/N: Ahhhh yes very queer chappie, yes I know no need to flame me, I already know this chapter sucked major ass. Hey at least I said Hinata instead of Hinita and Tenten instead on Ten ten or Ten-ten.

LOL

Oh yes I don't own justice league names or characters, I know I act like it but I don't.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: hello, how are you, I'm fine thankyou, thanks for asking yo'! I won't be able to update that much as I have gone back to my spirit crushing school full of plasticz, and as I have been having malicious thought about 'offing' my dear father dearest and taking his classic car out for a joy ride, but apart from that it's all good.

"Right and you guys didn't see anything!" One of the police officers waved a stun gun menacingly as two other officers picked up Sasuke's probable dead body and heaved it into the trunk of the pig car.

Shino was showing off his shiningly shaved legs to one of the officers who grazed a hand down the calf, admiring the womanliness of them…whoa that's actually a word.

The teens nodded…apart from Gaara cuz he was too fucken kewl.

The police sped off with Choji and Sasuke, into the sunset.

"That" Temari points at the blood stains on the road "Was fucked up"

Everyone nodded. But as though nothing had happened, Naruto screeched " C'MON GUYS WE'VE STILL GOT A GAME OF TRUTH AND DARE TO PLAY!" He hustled them back into the half-destroyed apartment.

Everyone crouched back into their crappy circle, still as crappy as ever. Sakura spun the bottle.

"Hey what are you doing?" Kiba asked.

"It's my turn to spin!"

"Oh?"

"Well you didn't get dare to take a shower with Gaara" She replied matter of factly, her eyes widened at the realization that she and tucked her self neatly into a corner.

Kiba grinned "So you guys 'do it'?"

A bead of hot sweet rolled down Gaara's Forehead and into his…oh wait he doesn't have eyebrows cuz Lee stole them Riiiiiggghhhhttt.

"Ummmm, my sexual life is none of your concern"

"Oh so you did do it"

"I never said that!"

"Well you did say 'sexual life' so I automatically guessed you guys did something 'sexy' in there."

Sakura reddened.

"Well it must have been really sexy if your not willing to share" Kiba's grin astoundingly got wider.

Sakura mumbled a 'shut up' and she re spun the bottle. It landed on Naruto.

"Truth or dare Naruto-baka?"

"Dare"

"Well…I Dunno make a rap about someone."

Naruto tapped his chin in deep thought. Behind him Shino put some moisturizer on his legs.

"Yo' Yo Yo', your mums a slut your dads a slut, your…cats a slut…and INO'S A SLUT!…yo' yo' yo', I'm making this shizit up while I go along, yo' yo' yo', for shizle ma nizle ma nigga,…yo' yo' yo', I'm a gangstah, High quality romancer. I fucked your dog in the ass…yeah…that's all I got…ARHGGGGG" that scream was the sound of Naruto getting the shit kicked out of him by Ino.

"I'M NOT A SLUT!"

"Could have fooled me" Shikamaru thought she wouldn't hear him, oh he was dead wrong.

She smacked him over the head with a curled fist "I know you wanna piece of this" she leaned over him to show a little cleavage, an unsteady line of blood shot out Shikamaru's nose. Temari looked pissed and shoved Ino

"Oh you did not bitch!" Ino said as she shoved back.

"You know I did, or are you to stupid?" ohhhh.

HinAta. (Yes, astoundingly an A instead of an I! YAY!) Cuddled up closer to Naruto who wrapped his arms around her for protection against the other angry wrath-giving blondes.

"Shikamaru likes me more anyway!" Temari yelled.

"Oh yeah PROVE IT BIMBO!"

"I WILL PRINCESS PLASTIC!" Temari turned to Shika who was wiping the steadying ooze of blood. "You like me more right Shika-kun?" She batted her eyelashes.

"No you like me more don't you Shika-lazybum?" She leaned over him again.

Shikamaru's genius brain was running over time 'Troublesome women, why do they have to be so damn troublesome?' he averted his eyes from Temari's top. 'Don't look down her top, anywhere but there, we will die if we loose anymore blood' Shikamaru thought to himself 'Why did I just refer to myself in second person.

"No he likes me more!" Ino grazed her lips over Shikamaru's ear and slid her tongue into the shell of it.

"Whoa Shikamaru's getting major pwnage!" Kiba yelled from his spot next to Kankuro who was meanwhile brushing one of his Barbie dolls hair.

Temari straddled the waist of the boy genius, whose mind was running overtime. "No you like me more don't you Shika-kun?" She rubbed her pelvis against his, She wrapped her arms around Shikamaru's shoulders and lightly pressed her lips against his, his eye's hand never been wide.

Ino let out an agitated Grrr. "Y'know Ino, just to piss Shika off so much cuz I know he'd think it's troublesome and all, why don't we Share?"

Ino grinned and planted a chaste kiss on Shikamaru's lips. As of now he was the luckiest guy in the group, not in my eye's of course but the other guys in the group…CUZ I'M NOT A LESBIAN!

Ino and Temari started a full on make out scene on Shikamaru's face, who gladly welcomed it, and laid back down on the floor, with two hawt blondes Straddling him.

"Lucky bastard" you could hear Shino mumbled, who continued on with his task of moisturizing his legs. Hey maybe that would attract the ladies.

Naruto spun the bottle.

It landed on Neji, who was noticeably very close to Tenten. (I spelt it right, stick that up your ass!!!!!)

"Truth" He said as Naruto opened his mouth.

Naruto grinned "DO yo ever x-ray through girls clothes, with those freaky eye's of yours?"

Tenten wanted to know the same thing. Neji scratched the back of his head. A muffled "Kinda" was audible.

"Kinda? Young Neji, it's either a yes or a no mate!" Naruto said in an annoying tone.

"…Yeah?"

"Why are you asking me?" Naruto asked.

Tenten punched Neji. Naruto smirked.

"So, you looked through any particular girls clothes?" his eyebrows raised.

Neji nodded and reddened. "Who?" Naruto pressed his luck.

Neji pointed to the bun haired Fe-male beside him and scratched his neck. Suddenly he felt arms wrap around him. "Oh you do think I'm pretty!!!" Tenten yelled. So they just sat in their own little world of huggingness.

The bottle was spun and it landed on the Beautiful green beast of Kohona.

A/N: lol I'm starting to get my groove back, okay later yo'!


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: lol here's you go, since I love you so much!

Neji had Tenten sitting in his lap. "Lee" Tenten had a dreamy look on her face as she leaned back against Neji's manly chest. Of course it was manly, no it was womanly and it had two hug boobs on it…god what am I on?

Lee looked nervous but he sucked it up.

"Truth or dare" of course not wanting to do another dodgy dare he picked…

"Truth"

"Okay, if you had magically been changed into the opposite sex and you were alone in a room, what would you do?"

"…Read a book?" everyone looked at him expectantly. "…Train"

"You sure? I think your lying!" Sakura pointed and laughed at the boy clad in spandex.

Suddenly a camera crew came rushing in and Lee stood up, "Lee!" the obvious director said.

"Yes?"

"You've won the add!"

"WHOOPEE!" Lee jumped for joy.

"Can you do it for us now green beast!?" He asked.

"Of course." Lee got in his pose.

The camera switched on and Lee pointed at his crotch.

"Friction…None…. Chafing…Zero, that's why I wear spandex, c'mon people, save the whales today."

Lee shook hands with the director and took his share of twenty bucks. "Sahweet, get some phat pay for the porno." He sat back down into the circle and counted his winnings.

Neji continued on. "I'm sure you wouldn't just be reading a book if you were changed into the opposite sex over night, am I right?"

"I guess I would explore a bit"

"C'mon Lee it's your destiny to tell the truth" Neji said in a serious tone.

"Alright if you wanna know so bad I would finger myself! Happy now!?"

"Yes" Neji nodded continently and Lee pouted like an angry child, an angry child who was playing a very perverted truth or dare, no matter. He spun the bottle a bit aggressively but he was too apathetic to care.

It spun and landed on Kankuro…

"I'm too apathetic to care right now, Shikamaru you do it" He sulked into a corner.

"Troublesome…Kankuro truth or dare?"

"Dare me sexy!"

O.o said everyone as Kankuro, Ino and Temari fumed.

"I dare you to molest an old lay" Fuck Shikamaru is cool and his cool dares!

Kankuro was quite jealous and whispered in Kiba's ear "only if you molest me later" Kiba coughed and mumbled an 'Ok'.

"Who the hell are you going to molest this late at night? It's not like there's an old lady walking down the street right now" Temari said. "Oh now let me guess there's going to be an old lady shuffling down the street on her zimmaframe, trust the author."

Everyone's eyebrows went up their forehead "Author?"

"Yeah" she points out the window to a ginger haired girl writing on her laptop. Ino flings the window open along side Sakura "You're that chick that jumped through the window with the cricket bat!" The girl paid no attention what so ever as she continues writing and movie her head to the music she was listening to on the computer. "HIT ME BABY ONE MORE TIME!" she suddenly screamed out and went back to typing her story.

Naruto picked up stone and threw it at her. The girl screamed and flew out of the tree "OHHH SHIIT!!!" She landed on the ground with a BOOM! But she must have been okay as she continued writing this story, she may be crippled but atleast the stories still going.

"Revenge is sweet" Naruto cackled and rubbed his hands together. Hinata jumped him "Ohh Naruto your so damn sexy!" how ooc can you get?

Quite a bit obviously…

Shikamaru spoke up "Hurry up and molest an old lady troublesome person."

"Where though?"

Shino, who was still moisturizing his legs, spoke "Why not the lady across the street, her lights are still on?"

Surely enough the lights were on in one said house.

And it sneezed WTF?

Kankuro shifted in his seat. "Whatever."

It was still cold outside, his 'friends', were up in the window watching him, waving "Bastards" Kankuro whimpered out and pulled his jacket into himself more.

He climbed the terrace up to the old ladies bedroom, sure enough she was in there combing her white hair…or what was left of it. She saw his reflection in the mirror, gasped and spun around.

"What are you doing in my house, get out before I call the police!" She yelled clutching a brush above her head.

"I'm sorry I have to do this ma'am" His hand whipped out and squeezed her inhumanly saggy boob.

A/N: Lol that was fucked up, next chappie up soon dudes, I hope, unless some random, depressing school shit comes up.!!! See yah!


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: I'm back (obviously) no it's your mum, GOD HONESTLY WHO DID YOU THINK IT WAS…O.o yes I know…Out of it!!!

"I gotta see this" Tenten said climbing eagerly out the window.

"Me too" Neji said.

"Yeah" everyone said in unison as they climbed out the window too see what was going on.

Kankuro nearly gagged when his open palms came in contact with the old woman's saggy boob. The woman stared in horror at him.

Which quickly changed…

"Oh honey, I never thought you felt that way."

(Okay people, this is going to get really graphic, cuz that's how I roll!! Lol I really don't wanna write this, but the dodgy voices in my head are saying it would be funny to creep you out, prepare to see a horrible rape scene on poor old Kankuro!!!)

The old woman pushed him onto her bed that smelt of lavender, she jumped him and held him down in a straddle, her thin bed dress floated in the air.

Poor Kankuro stated screaming.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD SAVE ME!!!!"

Neji looked up to his friends, who nodded back and hurriedly, followed him across the street.

The old woman started grinding him. "Say my name BITCH!!!"

"AHHHH!!!! WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!" he yelled as she started slapping him.

"IT'S DOROTHY BITCH!!!" she started dry humping him. Yes I know very graphic, yes I know I'm gagging, I'm just doing this to keep the voices happy.

"AGGGGGHHHHHHHH" Kankuro's lungs had never heaved so much as Dorothy stripped off her nightgown.

Her saggy tit's reached her hips and started swaying in the wind…The voices wanna know if I've creeped you out yet. I'd have to say yes…

She slapped him…with a hand whippy thing they use in porno movies, yes I have found such things on my dad's hard drive, and he named them un-suspicious things like 'V8 roadster drags' and so on, I love cars, what a mistake, but the funny thing is, I deleted everything just to piss him off…A few week later I saw him on the computer looking pretty pissed off…

Good times…good times!

"SAY MY NAME BITCH!!!"

"IT'S DOROTHY!!!!"

"That's right, you're my ho bitch and I'm your pimp mummy!" she said as she whipped him again and started stripping off his robes.

"AGHHHHH" he tried to resist, honestly wouldn't you…or are you getting off on this you old man? The old woman strapped his hands to the bedposts and slipped a Viagra down his throat. Kankuro felt all his blood rush down to his crotch.

"AHHHHHH GOD SAVE ME PLEASE WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!?!?!?!?!?" he asked to God as the old bag slapped his chest with a whip again.

Everyone stared in horror from outside the window…except Gaara, cuz he was too fucking cool for school!

"Is that rape?" Sakura asked.

"Well…she didn't yell 'Surprise' so it didn't count as surprise sex, and I guess he is getting a BIT violated, because he doesn't look very willing" Shikamaru said.

"Yeah…A BIT"

"Yeah…just a bit"

"Hmmm"

"Yeah just a Bit…not too much."

"…You can't rape the willing and he doesn't seem willing so…"

"Just a bit yeah" Sakura finished.

Naruto pulled out a video camera "Get some phat pay for the porno" he murmured as he started filming the groutesk rape scene…hehehe angry sex is funny.

Jiraiya stood at the window next to Kakashi…Jacking off.

White stuff splattered all over the window…

They had spilled their yogurts…

Mmmmm yogurt…

Got you again didn't I…oooo would you like some ice for that burn?

Kiba was dying of jealousy…I mean wouldn't you be…okay maybe not…but I hear from the fan girls that Kankuro looks pretty hawt without his makeup. Anyway, Kiba shot through the window and started strangling the poor unsuspecting bitch.

"DIE FUCKER!" Kiba yelled as he thrashed her naked neck around. Her boobs…swaying dangerously in the wind.

She dies due to strangulation and everyone went home…Kiba whispering comforting words to his…erm boyfriend? Yeah…

Everyone climbed back though the window, except Shikamaru because he realized it was less troublesome to use the door and so did Gaara…can you guess why…because he was too fucking cool!

Everyone sat in their deformed circle that looked like it fell down an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down, and then beaten with an ugly stick.

Yeah that's how deformed that shit was…about as deformed as this story…Hmmm funny that!

Kankuro reluctantly spun the bottle, keeping his eyes peeled for any signs of old women.

It landed on Sakura…Who cringed.

"Well that sucks."

"Truth or dare?"

She sighed "Dare me"

"You have a bitchy sister right?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow "Yeah so?"

"I dare you to put all her underwear in the freezer."

Sakura grinned "Thankyou Kankuro!"

They Highfived. "Well let's go do it now then!" Ino cheered and Hinata giggled.

They went outside again, Shikamaru whispered something about something being 'troublesome' as usual.

Everyone filed into Shino's chevy truck…ohhh yeah he's gangster cuz he owns a chevy!!!!

Holdens rule Fords suck!!! Okay fords aren't all bad, to be honest I'm just a chevy person, not a Holden person…but enough about me on with the story!

He turned the key and the car started up…it purred like a kitten. MEOW!

Lol…fuck I'm weird aye!

Shino sped off down the highway. Because they weren't wearing seatbelts they crashed into a power pole and flew out of the windshield…and died of aids.

Well that's what could happen…but it's not because I don't want the characters dead yet.

But that's life though, we're all in one big story and God decides whether to kill us off in certain way. It's like "Hey I might get that guy killed in a serious car accident cuz that's how I roll" Any second you might die from a heart attack or a piece of ice hurtling through your roof at the speed of sound.

But that's life so…wear your seat belts and don't drink and drive…

BACK TO THE STORY BECUZ I JUST GOT TERRIBLY OFF TRACK!!!

Shino sped down the road.

Wee oooo Wee oooo

"Ahhh shit it's the pigs" Shino pulled over. The cop car pulled up behind him and the officer got out. Just as the pig got to close Shino sped off. The Officer ran back to his car and called for back up.

Lee started singing "I smell bacon, I smell pork, run little piggy I got a fork!"

"Yellow ducky to home base, yellow ducky to home base, do you read me?" he yelled into the walkie-talkie.

"Yellow ducky this is home base, we read you loud and clear."

"Home base I need back up…over and out"

A/N: that's right, keep you guys waiting!!!!


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: hehehe naughty aren't' I? And mean…I'm sorry…don't be angry…I didn't mean it……..You know I love you.

Yesh I do!!!

Six-teen pigs' cars and a helicopter were tailing Shino. But Shino had superior man handling driving skills…and in a chevy they couldn't catch him…He was just too cool for school…and jail…don't forget jail.

But someone had replaced his Beautiful chevy tires with horrible Ford ones…they came up to their name….

F-Found

O-On

R-Road

D-Dead.

Or another likely one…

F-Found

O-On

R-Rubbish

D-Dump

Whichever came first.

And now Shino was on rims, sparks flew out from under the rims as he careened down the high was at top gear. He drifted and crashed onto Sakura's lawn. The pigs parked up behind him, everyone got of the car.

Three officers tackled him and started tazing him. "ARGGGG FUCK OFF!!!"

"You have the right to remain silent everything you say, can be used against you in the court of law, if you cannot afford a lawyer you will be supplied the shittiest lawyer this state can find"

"Wait!"

"What is it scum?" one officer said as he waved a taser menacingly infront of Shino's hawt sexy face.

"My…girlfriend is in the truck…IN LABOUR!" Shino…what a wicked cover up.

"She doesn't' look pregnant" One red necked officer said in a slack jawed voice.

"She's… having a premature birth?" Shino said unsurely. Ino got the idea and started doing her 'breathing' and screaming.

Sakura slinked into he shadows, into her house and threw all her sisters underwear into the deep freezer.

BANG BANG!!! One of the cop cars' trunk started banging and it shot open. Choji and Sasuke jumped out, tied up and gagged wearing…

Tiger skinned g-strings…what a sight huh?

They ran off screaming mumbled screams.

A/N: yes I know, pretty fucked, pretty lame, no need to flame me…I already flamed myself! lol


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: hello Clarice…lol. Here's the next chappie, obviously!

Shino was using reverse psychology on the officers. "Now you didn't see anything did you?"

"No" They were totally zobified.

Another officer walked up and handed Shino a packet or orange stuff "Here is your orange sherbet" Shino nodded and smiled as he took the sherbet and started snorting it up his nose and giggled.

The police officers got back in their cars and drove off, the one Choji and Sasuke jumped out of still had its trunk open which was flapping in the wind. Everyone stared and Temari randomly hugged Shikamaru. Sakura came running out of the house.

"Okay…where are the piggy's?"

"Shino used his mad skills and got rid of them…yeah" Ino said.

"Oh" Sakura hid a fork behind her back. Suddenly Sasuke ran up to her and started humping her leg. Gaara got a little ticked at this.

"NO SHE'S MINE!" so he humped her other leg. Sakura fell over from being overly humped…Shit I nearly wrote ovaries…lol.

"Well since the cars fucked." Everyone looked over at the car…except Gaara since he was too fucken cool…and because he was too busy humping. "How are we going to get home?" Tenten asked. Kankuro stood on the curb and gave the hitch hikers thumb.

Crickets chirped and wolves howled.

"…No Kankuro" Kiba said, shaking his head.

"Well you guys we could always stay here. My sister won't be back for a while and if we leave early we can continue doing the dares…oh say Ino's for example."

"Fuck you forehead" Sakura just stuck out her tongue.

People looked around Sakura's room, it was a light shade of pink and there was a double bed in the corner, all the girls jumped on it and claimed it as their own. The poor boys were stuck on the floor. Sakura looked for a bottle, there was one sitting on her computer desk.

"OH GOD IT FOLLOWED US HERE!!!" Naruto screamed and pointed to the bottle, standing innocently on the desk. Choji crashed through the window, still wearing his G-string.

"I WILL SAVE YOU FROM THE PERIL!!!" he tried using his 'heat vision'.

It sat there, unfazed. "You are an adequate foe!" he tried again. "He must have some sort of power blocking shield!"

Tenten interrupted him "Who are you now?" she said boredly.

"Me?…well I'm…"

Drums sound.

"G-STRING MAN!"

Everyone sweat dropped except Gaara cuz…well y'know the story.

"I MUST GET REINFORCEMENTS!!" Choji jumped out the window.

"What the fuck?" Neji asked.

"I dunno" Tenten said.

"Fuck you turn me on" Neji said as he pinned her on the floor and started making out with her. Lee watched…trying to pick up some tips.

Sakura grabbed the 'evil' bottle and spun it on the floor, it landed on Gaara, she cackled and rubbed her hands together in an evil guesture.

"Truth or-

"Dare"

"Did you just interrupt me?"

"Ohhh he's in for it" Ino spoke up.

"No?"

"Okay then!"

Gaara sweat dropped.

"I dare you to have a psychiatric break through with that chair." She pointed to her computer chair.

"What the hell kind of dare is that!?"

Sakura tried to think of a witty comeback and failed "Well…your MUM!"

"No" everyone shook their heads.

A/N: did you like it, if you did review, or I'll find you and kill you, log in on your account and make you review!!! MUAHAHAHA


	20. Chapter 20

A/n: okay here you go! 20TH CHAPPIE yayayaya WHOOOT GO ME!!! I came this far without dying yaya!!!!!!

Damn The last chapter I updated, basically everyone reviewed instantly…do you guys not have jobs and just wait around for me to update?…that's pretty cool.  
)))))))))))))))))))))))))((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

(They look like toenail clippings!)

Gaara sat, facing the chair, glaring at it angrily, if looks could kill this chair would be firewood.

Everyone snickered.

Gaara glared at the chair and spoke "When I was three…I got hit by a jeep"

Gaara listened to what the chair had to say "Yeah my dad backed over me in the drive way…asshole" Gaara replied to the chair.

"Also…my dad killed my mum when she didn't make him Teriyaki chicken for dinner one night…yeah."

Everyone started filming the scene with their pxt phones.

A girl with orange hair sat up in a tree outside and shook her head… "Silly" She saw Sasuke running around in a g-string and pulled out a hand rifle from her ass. You know when cartoons pull something out of no-where? Yeah that's what happened. She screwed a silencer on the end and homed in on Sasuke.

"PST" Said the gun as it hoiked out a bullet the embedded it's self in…I dunno his wenis…I'm trying to think on a cool sounding body part here…oh and your wenis is your elbow.

Yeah

"Most of the time, Life sucks ass…but when something funny happens, It's really, really funny…that's what I live for" she said coolly, lost balance in the tree and fell out.

Yeah cuz that's how she rolls, no literally.

Gaara continued glaring at the chair. "I have a demon inside my head and it makes me angry…I kill people…I like cheese burgers…long walks on the beach…and I lost 80 pounds on a subway diet."

He listened to the chair and his facial expression quickly turned from annoyance to rage "WHAT DID YOU CALL ME FAG?!?" He gripped the chair and thrashed it.

"I'LL KILL YOU!!!" He continued to beat the chair. Who laughed, yes… the chair laughed…I know…I know.

He threw the chair out the window…It landed ontop of the ginger hair girl who was lying on the ground not moving…not good for her…But she must be okay cause the fic is still going. As she is the awesome author of coolness…hey I'm talking about myself in third person…good for me…her…him…it.

Gaara sat on the floor hyperventilating curses towards the inanimate object people put their bums in. Sakura massaged his shoulders at looked at all of her friends. "You guys look wasted." She said. Everyone's eyes were blood shot and baggy. "We should all get some sleep...yeah?"

Everyone nodded.

So about four people crammed themselves on Sakura's bed. Who were Sakura, Gaara, Neji and Tenten. And on the couch Hinata and Naruto slagged out.

My new word…slagged…pretty smexy aye?

Ino and Shikamaru and Temari just grunged out on the floor with a blanket. Lee sat dejectedly in a corner. Kiba and Kankuro sat snuggled up in a corner hugging…because hugs are good! Shino slept happily with his razor.

Y'know what I think I'll put a few "limes" or even very quiet "Lemons"…hehehe.

Tenten felt a bit awkward pressed so close to Neji, hips against hips, chests against boobs…Errr…chests.

Tenten wriggled. "Stop wriggling" Neji murmured. "Sorry" she sighed. "S'okay"

Tenten looked up at Neji's closed eyes "What is it Tenten?" she blushed, forgetting about his byakugan and high senses and crap. "Uuuh nothing" she almost stuttered. He opened his lazy, bloodshot eyes and whispered a barely audible "Byakugan" and looked at her top…well through her top. She softly slapped his cheek "Neji!"

He just smirked and moved his head so her could go in for a kiss. Her lips were plump and tasted of chocolate, his tasted of strawberry lip gloss, though she didn't mind. They stopped like…ten minutes later, Neji had a stark erection, but Tenten didn't care, it was to be expected.

"Do you ever feel like your being watched?" Tenten said randomly. The readers outside the window started glancing around nervously.

"…No not really…why?" he asked, thinking she was totally random.

"No seriously, I think we're being watched." The readers retreated to a less obvious window and perved there…or spied whatever you want to call it. Neji looked up to see Sasuke standing at the window with his face pressed into the glass, breathing heavily.

He slid his hands down the window, leaving bloodstains, his mouth pressed against the window and he licked it, he started shaking like he was having an orgasm (or an orgy)

White stuff splattered all over their nice clean windows. Yes I know that you know that I know that you know what's going to happen next.

But it sure as hell wasn't his yogurt…

Neji and Tenten stared as to say "what the fuck man!?"

"Dude does he have a bullet sticking out of his elbow?" Neji asked. Tenten corrected him.

"Wenis"

"Whatever"

They started making out again, Neji pressed his knee between her legs and felt she was majorly wet, he started pulling off her top and she peeled off his shorts.

Yes…very heated foreplay.

Indeed…Well I'm sure you want me too…nah fuck it who would fuck infront of a room full of people…sure they're sleeping but come on.

Anyway…

Sakura pressed herself closer to Gaara as she heard Neji and Tenten beginning to swap spit, suck faces…you know all that jack.

"Gaara" Sakura squeaked. "What, what?" he cracked open an eye, sure he didn't sleep but c'mon, can't a guy rest his eyes without being criticized. "Move over" she squeaked as she tried to get away from Neji's hand that was squeezing Tenten's butt erotically.

"Hn" he…hn'd as he raised a foot and shoved it into Tenten's back. Thus, shoving her ontop of Neji, thus leading to a more heated foreplay…yeah. Gaara grabbed his lover or girl friend…maybe even soon to be fuck buddy and brought her close.

"I think their looking for a little competition." He wiggled his nonexistent eyebrows, it made him look silly…VERY SILLY INDEED!!!!

(ooo shit south parks on tonight, ohhh yeah!)

On DA floor wid Shikamaru…

Shikamaru tried to get the feeling back into his arm, he also just plain tried to get it back! Ino was latched onto it and made squeaking noises into his neck, he shivered when her felt her grin and her wet tongue slide across his Adam's apple, he shivered even more when Temari started doing the same.

'Oh great' Shikamaru thought 'Now I'm going to be stuck pleasing two women…how trouble some'

He sighed. Temari and Ino started feeling each other up, and after a while they started hard core making out. He put his arms behind his head 'oh well at least dad'll be proud.'

(Fuck there's a dipshit flaming this story!!! I just wanna beat him up, but I can't do that cuz I don't know where he lives…damn and apparently he puts everyone's 'stupid' stories in a c2 but I can't find it…cry cry.)

Somewhere…not there…but here…wherever here is… 

Itachi and the rest of the kickass Akatsuki were sitting in the lounge of their hideout, watching Asian porn.

(fuck it's hard to be funny right now when my retard brother left sweet chili sauce everywhere, and his sweat and his farts that FUCKING FILTHY BASTARD, I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU JAMES!!!!!!…ahem)

"I'm hungry" said Deidara.

"Me too" said Tobi munching on a waffle.

Itachi twirled a kunai in his hand. "Let's get some fuckin' KFC" he said lazily. Kisame stumbled in clutching a bottle of sake. "I'D LIKE SOME WILD POONTANGE!" he screamed then fell over.

Everyone tripped, fell and drunkenly stumbled into Itachi's car. "Dude why do you own a Rover?" Hidan asked, holding his bible.

"Because Rovers are unsuspectable and cool" Itachi said.

"Dude is unsuspectable even a word?"

"It is now since the author added it too her dictionary." Lawl dicktionary.

Itachi's P6 Rover started up and they sped off to KFC!

What will happen at KFC?

What will those hormone driven teens do…

Find out in the next episode of DRAGONBALL Z!!!!!!

A/N: hello me duckies, sorry it took me so long to get back, I've had a stressful week and have had many attempts at 'offing' my brother, on Friday I had a mental breakdown, I think I'm all good now, well I was never really 'good' by clinical standards but I feel okay. The next chappie will be a hell of a lot better.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N: yo' wazzup? Nothing much, here, got an as haul of homework to do, but I can't remember and I honestly don't give a shit, I'll just kill my teachers in a dark classroom at lunch or something, lawl.

Ahhhh life is good.

Itachi drove into the drive through of KFC.

"Welcome to KFC place your order when you're ready."

"Okay, shut up and don't tell me what to do"

"Oh sir I was only-

"Shut up!…I'm looking at the menu" Itachi stroked his invisible beard and the rest of the idiots in the car snickered.

The order taker was an obvious idiot "Would you like a pack of our new curly fries?"

(Just so you know I don't own KFC you must be stupid if you think I do, a little ginger haired girl, writing fanfics that owned KFC, you must be retarded lawl)

Itachi groaned "No please don't offer me anything, I'm on a diet so I'll order…a snack burger combo-

"Large or regular?"

"DON'T FUCKING INTURRUPT ME YOU DICK!!!!"

"I'M SORRY SIR!!!!" The order taker cowered in fear.

"So you should be" he looked over at his…friends? I dunno "What do you dicks want?" he said uninterestedly.

"I'll have a, six foot sub" Kisame said, tapping his chin.

"Dude this isn't fucking subway!" Deidara said smacking the fish man.

"Owwww, Don't hit" Kisame rubbed his now sore arm "Okay I'll get a family feast" Everyone stared at him "What? I'm a big boy"

Tobi spoke up "I'll get a kiddy meal!" Sasori rolled his eyes, yes he's alive in this fic.

"What do you want Hidan?" Itachi asked, totally not caring.

"I'll get my own" Hidan steps out of the car and walks in. He walks up to the cash register.

"Hello sir and welcome to KFC, what would you like to order."

Hidan tapped his chin "Yeah, I'll get…a Sunday."

"What toppings would you like?"

"…None"

"Okay here you go" the chick behind the counter gave him an ice cream.

Afterwards, Hidan walked up to a random guy who was emptying his leftovers into the rubbish bin, he cleared his throat and THRUST the Sunday into the random guy's crotch. "HE CAME HE CAME!!!!!" Hidan pointed to his crotch and laughed, the guy went bright red and ran into the bathroom.

Everyone else in the restaurant stared at him "Oh yeah, that was my laugh for the day" he left the building and Itachi and the rest of the gang were outside waiting in the car.

"Where's you food?" Half of Zetsu's face spoke up. Yes I didn't forget about the all awesome Zetsu the cannibal, he rock my socks.

"Didn't get any, I wasn't really hungry." He sat in the crowded back said with a maniacal grin plastered on his face. Everyone kinda scooted away, which pushed Sasori into the opposite back door.

"ERRRRR" the door said and collapsed off it hinges.

"AAAHHHH-un" Deidara screamed as he tumbled out on top of Sasori, he landed ontop of him in an awkward position.

Itachi glared at them for breaking his car, since Deidara caused the accident he glared at him the most "You are walking home"

"But-

"No but's"

"Lawl, he said butts" Tobi snickered.

The car sped off with a door half hanging off, into the distance with Deidara lying on the ground stupidly. He got up and stuck his finger out in a hitch hikers pose. A big truck pulled over with a fat, piggish looking guy driving it. The passengers side door flung open and Deidara clambered in.

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH  
A/N: Dun dun dun. Ohhhh what's gonna happen biotches?!?!?


	22. Chapter 22

A/N: lol I'm back to take your soul biotches. 

"Ohhh dude Sasori, you weren't quick enough, what a shame" Tobi said whilst chugging down a small Pepsi.

"I didn't want KFC anyway…"

"What did you want?" asked Hidan.

"…McDonalds."

Itachi cracked up laughing "WHAT!?" Sasori yelled.

Itachi chuckled to himself. "McDonalds, lol."

They drove into the parking lot of McDonalds, The drive through was full of fatty's in their small cars, when the actual walk in was pretty much empty. They guys sighed and parked their car up.

Hidan grabbed a KFC bag and out it over his head and made a cape. "Hidan, dude, what the fuck are you doing?" Sasori asked.

"Shhh" Hidan silenced him with a finger over his mouth. Hidan rushed into the restaurant making 'whooshing' sounds, his plastic cape billowing behind him. The rest of the Akatsuki minus one and minus the others that I have forgotten or that sucked walked in all cool like.

Sasori lined up at the queue and the rest just sat down cuz that's how they roll.

WID DEIDARA…

"You suuuuurrrrre gotssss a pwetty mouf" said the guy driving the big truck.

"Um yeah –un" Deidara kinda shuffled over.

"Ohhh she's shy" he said, whilst placing a hand on Deidara's thigh and trailing it upwards.

Deidara just wanted to go home "Shouldn't you be watching the road-un?"

"You're smart tooooo" he said pulling over.

"Um why are we stopping-un?"

The driver grinned and wriggled over to his side a little more. "I'm a guy-un" Deidara hocked out.

The driver still grinned. "Does it look like I care piggy?"

"Wha-

The driver flipped him over and straddled his ass. "AHHHHHHHH-un" screamed Deidara.

"Squeal piggy squeal!!!" the driver yelled.

"GET OFF ME-un" Deidara wriggled around under the driver dude's grip.

"Wrigglin' will only make it worse hun'"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

AT MCDONALDS…

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Sasori screamed as he slipped over, damn people who don't read the wet floor signs.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-COUGH-COUGH…ahem" Kisame laughed a fucked laugh.

"Sir I'm going to have to ask you to take that off" a worker at McDonalds said to Hidan whilst pointing at his kickass cape.

"So your saying if I wore a…something from McDonalds it would be okay?" He said half jokingly.

Tobi ran off to go play on the playground.

"Yeah" the worker said, putting a hand behind the counter and pulling out a GUN!!! Nah I'm just fuckin' with yah (I wish lol) he pulled out a paper back with the McDonalds logo on it.

"Sweet" said Hidan, poking a couple of holes in it and drew a fucked up smiley face on it. He put it on his head and turned to Itachi. "How do I look?" he asked.

"Don't talk to me" said Itachi. Hidan frowned behind his paper bag. Kisame butted in.

"Well you look a hell of a lot prettier."

"THAT'S RIGHT I AM PRETTY!"

Yup he'd lost it.

He started prancing around like a loony.

Man I'm sweaty right now…fucking P.E…bloody womanly weather with its PMSing…

"What would you like to order?" a guy with black hair, looking totally bored stood behind the counter.

"WHOA ITS SASUKE!!!" Kisame screamed. The ingredients of his burger were flying everywhere. That reminds me, I spat food at my friend today at school, and a random guy asked me if I was single. Lol, guess what I said 'yeah there's only one of me, Dick'

LAWL.

Itachi sweatdropped and fell off his chair. "What are you doing working at McDonalds?" Sasori asked.

Sasuke shrugged "Gets me money and I get to spit in other people's food."

A random guy in the restaurant bit into his burger a big trail of-

"P!!!" Deidara screamed.

"HUH?" the driver looked at him with a fucked up face.

"I'm a drug dealer, I'll give you some P if you let me go" he said. The driver seemed to think about it.

"NAH!" and started kissing his neck, Deidara started panicking 'What should I do, what should I do…I KNOW!!!! I'll use my-

"COKE!!!!" Sasori screamed, clutching a large coke and his meal, he was shaking uncontrollably.

"See I told you we shouldn't have gave him coke" Hidan said.

"Yeah But it was funny" Kisame said as he stuck his tongue out at the people Zetsu was eating. "You are what you eat" He said to him while walking past.

A/N: yeah I know, pretty dodgy, pretty fucked up, but hey, sue my school, they're over working me so I can't do anything else…damn them and their educationess, those bastards!!!


	23. Chapter 23

A/N: yo' yo' yo' ma homies, bark with me if you're my dog…WOOF WOOF. 

"Ohhhh razor, ohhh you know you're the only inanimate objet in my life baby" Shino said as he somehow cuddled the razor even harder, he got a few slice marks down his cheek but who gives a shit.

I do cuz I love Shino…fucken' AIDS bag…

It was morning and the sun was coming up over a hill...somewhere… not here but somewhere…

Tenten and Neji were on the bed, Tenten was topless, well she had a bra but pretty much topless (fuck I feel like getting wasted, fuckin binge drinking), Neji had no pants on and his hairy butt crack was exposed.

"AHH BUILDERS CRACK!!!" Ino screamed and pointed at Neji's butt.

"Troublesome woman" Shikamaru mumbled.

Naruto was busy planting sloppy wet kisses up Hinata's neck whom had fainted.

"Um, Naruto…"Kankuro said, pointing at the out of it Hinata.

"Hmm" he looked at Hinata "OMG I KILED HINATA!!!" he cried over her overly sexed body.

Kiba's dog was having a dirty dream, it was on it's back and it had a major boner. Fucken reefer dog.

The ginger haired girl giggled wildly as she filmed it. She then jumped out the window with a 'SPLAT!' cuz that's how she rolls.

"Right people we have a few dare's to do today" she clapped her hands together enthusiastically.

"Yeah that includes you" Sakura said from the bed, being spooned by a dead to the world Gaara, yeah he decided to sleep or fucken meditate or something…cuz he's so fucken cool and that's how he rolls.

"Huh?" she said "But the bottle didn't land on me"

"Well, everyone got an even number of dares, you, Shino, Hinata, Kankuro, Ino and Naruto still have a dare each to complete."

"How can you remember this shit, even the author had a hard time remembering this." The author outside the window nodded and mouthed an 'it's true'

Shino was currently humping his razor.

There was white stuff everywhere.

And it sure as hell wasn't his yogurt.

Temari got a glass of water and tipped it on Gaara's head "Wake up psycho killer"

"Huh? What?" he asked spluttering up water.

"Time to go do the dares in public."

"Lol If you got rid of the L in public it would say pubic." Kankuro giggled.

Flashback… 

Kankuro walked into the family living room with a tube of head lice cream.

"Hey mum?"

"Yeah" yes I know their mum is dead and that their dad's an asshole, my story get fucked!

"What's the difference between normal head lice and public lice?" he asked, holding the tube and reading the back of it.

His mother wagged her eyebrows. "Lets see" he handed her the tube and she read it.

"Son this say PUBIC lice not public."

Kankuro's dad cracked up. (Lol I'm listening to that 'I'm your Venus' by shocking blue, and I thought she said 'I'm you fetus, I'm your fire, at your desire.' LOL!)

"You're an idiot" his dad said.

End of flash back…obviously…no it's the start of going to your mum's house. 

Kankuro wiped away a tear. "Good times, good times."

A/N: Yes I know it was short SO FUCK MY ASS AND CALL ME A BITCH!!! Lol in the next chapter the teens take the bus into town and see that creepy snake guy and KABUTO!!! THEY ARE GANGSTAHS!!! lol


	24. Chapter 24

A/N: Yup you guessed it, it's the next chapter YAY! OH HAPPY DAY!!!

Everyone was all ready, so since their car was fucked (In the ass by Michael Jackson) they had to use…

Dun, dun, dun

PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!!!! AHHHHHHH THE HORROR!!!!

They boarded the bus and sat at the back, totally cool, did you know that the white people made the black people sit at the back of the bus back when…everything was in penny's and pence and shit…and now sitting at the back of the bus is cool…that's fucked up.

"Okay Naruto's up first" said Sakura.

"Okay" he said, "…Umm, what am I supposed to be doing again?"

Kiba and Kankuro grinned "Putting detergent in the park water fountain…naked."

Kiba hissed the last word "Naaaaaakkkkeeeedddd" oooo booyah!

Naruto gulped and Kankuro pulled a bottle of dish washing liquid from behind his back.

"How'd you do that?" Shikamaru asked.

"Oh it's easy" he said. Pulling out a bag of popcorn from behind his back.

"Yeah, even babies can do it." Kiba pulls a bottle of coke, of which I do not own from behind his back, he screwed open the lid, 'cheee' it made a weird sound of carbon dioxide leaving it's container, Kiba took a drink and gulped it down.

"Mmmmm maccona haft mere mmmm"

Lol translation "maccona has more mmmm"

My dad's at a meeting right now…must be a very INTENSE ONE cuz it's almost ten o'clock, either that or he's having a session in his new car!

A very ugly car…

"So you say even babies can do it?" Ino asked, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Somewhere… 

A baby pulled a gun out from behind his back and held up a jewelry store.

Back in the bus… 

"Well maybe not babies" said Kiba.

The baby was then tackled.

"Is it still me to make you sweat, am I all you think about in bed when the lights are dimming your hands are shaking as you're sliding off your dress" Gaara sang, yes very ooc.

"Shut up!" Sakura slapped him.

Shifty shifty…. Man I feel like getting hammered with my friends right now…. I have never thrown up so hard…sweet

The bus stopped outside a super market. "Well Hinata has to do her dare next" Akamaru barked.

"Dude did you just TALK!?" Kiba yelled.

"Ahhh I mean…WOOF WOOF!!!!!!"

"That's more like it"

"SO Hinata truth or dare?" Naruto asked.

"DARE ME BIOTCH!!!!!!!"

"Lets get you a toothpaste mustache" Ino wiggled her eyebrows.

"Ohhh crap."

"Smack that, all on the floor, smack that, give me some more, smack that, till you get sore, smack that, oh oh ohhhhh" Gaara sang.

"SHUT UP!" Sakura smacked him while looking around with shifty eyes.

The group of teens lazily trotted throughout the convenience store.

Shikamaru sighed "this is sooo troublesome"

"OMG Shika-kun, you're so hot!" Ino cried and hugged him. In the distance you could see the authoress grin and nodded enthusiastically.

"HELLZ YEAH BIOTCHEZ!!!!!!!" cuz that's how she rolls. She was then gunned down by the black Mafia.

O.o

Somewhere…in Haku's and Zabuza's lair…cuz they're fucking hawt sexy llamas… Zabuza took a mighty hit out of his bong and laughed stonedly. "Dude I'm so high right now, I feel like I'm floating…argggg…hehehheheheh" he laughed queerly. "Hey dude, I get you drift" 

"Hey man…what's wrong" Zabuza asked as Haku clutched his stomach.

"I think I'm lactose intolerant."

"...Why?" Zabuza picked up a joint and inhaled it.

"I ate some cheese earlier and…- Haku burped a loud burp and farted a really bad fart. He clutched his guts as though they were going to spill out and ran out of the room.

Zabuza picked up his bong and took a hit. "Poor guy" he said as he took another hit then laughed "But when have I ever pitied someone?!"

Yeah that's true…but I for one pity…YOUR MUM…OOOHH, BURN!!!!!!

Would you like a packet of frozen peas for that burn?

Not at Zabuza's house…which we will get back to later… 

The teens walked through the store and spotted Kabuto and Orochimaru, they were looking at condoms, why you ask, because they were fucking Aid's bags that's why.

"Ohh! Ohhh! Lets get the strawberry ones!!!" Kabuto squealed like a pig, Both him and Orochimaru were dressed up like gangsters, Hmmm…gay gangsters…. ooookkkkay?

Orochimaru groaned, showing off his silver and diamond grills, fuck grills are sweet, I wanna get some!

"Do we have to, they're expensive" nah they actual are, like 13 bucks "I mean, why do we need flavored condoms anyway?"

Kabuto smirked at him and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Orochimaru went bright red.

"On second thought lets get some" Orochi-likestotouchlittleboys-maru grabbed about 20 packets and ran off in hand with his 'lover', eww gross up the bum!!!

Everyone stared "Was that?" Naruto started.

"Yes" Hinata answered him.

"Oh…that's dodgy"

"Yes it is" The authoress was suddenly standing next to them, holding a packet of pads, she blushed and hid them behind her back "hehehehehe" she laughed nervously.

She turned her head upwards "Why do you keep making me pop up in the story!?" she screamed.

"I don't know!!!!" the authoress typing screamed guiltily and started slapping her self, meanwhile the other authoress ran off screaming "THE MATRIX HAS YOU MR. ANDERSON!!!!"

"Okay lets go get some toothpaste" Temari said and began walking towards the oral hygiene care aisle.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: hey dudes I'm back, howzit going, life is sucking for me right now, school is making me want to kill myself, but I won't cuz I love you guys and my family way to much, especially you guys though and I'm going to write heaps of funny as fics for ya'll!!!

WIF DEIDARA…. the piggy…hehehehhee…lol

Hmmmmm I'm actually considering letting Deidara get raped by a fucking red neck, whoa, I feel horrible, not because of that, my brother just farted and it smells so fucking bad…oh god I think he shat his pants…

Deidara slammed his palms on the side of the guy's face who was still kissing down the back of his neck and dry humping his ass.

The hands on Deidara's palms bit into the burnt flesh of the butt fucker. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH" he screamed as blood splurted out everywhere.

Deidara giggled girlishly which soon turned into a hard out evil as laugh. It was hard core…yeah.

People walking past, I don't know why the hell they were walking down the highway, but whatever, well they thought someone was having an orgasm, judging by the shaking of the truck and the screaming. But that's just them…. You of course would be dodgier thinking someone was getting turned inside out.

Whatever…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA-un" Deidara laughed maniacally and blood splashed all over the windscreen. After he was done (cough-withhisorgasm-cough) he shoved the guy out of the truck and drove off…

His target…

MCDONALDS!!!!

…Yeah, pretty hard-core aye?

A/N: Yeah it was short, but you know you loved it, the next chappie will be awesome, the guys are reunited with Deidara, and they go on a but of a road trip. I'll get back to Zabuza and Haku too!


	26. Chapter 26

A/N: I'm back ladies and gents!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Haku, who had recovered with his near death experience…with death, was currently eating some cheese cake, yes even though her was lactose intolerant he was eating fucking cheese cake, hasn't learned yet obviously.

Zabuza was smoking a joint, his eyes were so bloodshot they were oozing blood.

"Hey dude?" Zabuza murmured while taking a hit on his doobie.

"Yeah man?" Haku asked, taking a nibble from his cheesecake.

"Wanna prankcall someone?"

"Hellz yeah"

Zabuza picked up the phone and rang 0800222222222.

He had wrung Santa…

"Hello little boy or girl, you've called Santa, Santa is currently on holiday, so if you would like to leave a message of what you would like to have for Christmas this year, say so after the beep" The very happy elf said.

'Beep'

"Hey is you freezer running?"

"Zabuza?"

"What? I'm trying to prank call here?"

"It fridge not freezer"

"Oh right, I knew that" Haku continued munching his way through his cheesecake.

"Sorry…Is you fridge running?"

Silence…

"Fucking answer me you asshole"

Silence…

"FUCK YOU, YOU QUEER CUNT!!!" he hung up.

There was silence between him and his ward.

"That was pretty hard-core aye?" Zabuza said as he lit up his pipe.

"Totally" Haku said, zoned out on American idol.

-----------------This is a border biotchez!------------------

"Okay that was…slightly weird" Neji said as he held hands with Tenten, you think that's weird huh? Well just look in the mirror YOU HAVE NO FUCKING PUPILS!!! OHHH BURN!

"Ahem" Naruto coughed and picked up a tube of Colgate toothpaste, that I do not own, if I did I would have better teeth. Naruto wiped the white paste on Hinata's upper lip. Making a very handsome mustache.

"Very sexy" he said and grinned.

Hinata's face reddened. Her eyes widened and she cringed "O-ouch" she went to rub her upper lip but Naruto stopped her.

"What's wrong?"

"It's burning"

"Oh that will stop soon."

"You wear tooth paste mustaches?" Temari asked.

Naruto growled. Meanwhile Shino pulled some razor casings off the wall hooks, for is 'girlfriend'.

"ON WARD!" Ino screamed to the sky as she dragged Shikamaru to follow her.

"To the bus!!!!" Sakura screamed.

"…Okay" Shikamaru said "Troublesome"

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
A?N: yeah…it was weird but yah gotta love Haku and Zabuza, they're sexy bastards!


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: okay I'm back, I can see that this story is getting kinda dull, it will step up but, yeah…I don't know what's up, just feeling a little weird.

Everyone waited at the bus stop, it was pretty hard core. Gaara was flirting with Sakura who was nibbling his ear. Neji and Tenten were sticking their hands up each other's shirts. Naruto kept trying to stick his hand up between Hinata's legs, who was bright red.

Shino was changing his razors casing. Oh isn't love wonderful.

Yes even angsty teen love was pretty cool.

The bus came up and everyone boarded, Naruto was still trying to stick his hand down Hinata's pants, the bus driver gave him a strange look. Tenten and Neji had their hands up each other's top and moaning they got a dodgy look too. Gaara was singing dodgy raps to Sakura who kept hitting him.

They sat in their seats.

"So who's next?" Kiba asked, taking Akamaru out of his jacket, you're not allowed pets on the bus, but what the bus driver doesn't know won't hurt him…the same goes for parents.

"Well according to my analysis" Bill Gates fucking popped up out of no where, typing on his IBM think pad. (Don't dis the think pad) "It appears Shino is next" Shino stiffened.

"Now excuse me, while I go take over the world with computers, kukukuku" Bill said and disappeared.

"Bill Gates ROCKS!!!" You could hear someone scream he or she was then beaten by and apple Mac user…apple owns…but I'm too poor to get one and my dad's a retard! I should put him in this story…people like him should never reproduce!

Whoa…I just dissed myself…I'm going to go sit in a corner and gauge my wrists for a while…

Everyone looked at the ginger haired girl at the back of the bus, discretely slicing her wrists like an emo.

Kankuro scratched his nuts "So what's Shino's dare?"

"Well Mr. I-like-to-scratch-my-balls-discretely, I think-

Ino was then cut off.

"No your dares suck" Sakura silence her with a hand in the face.

"Oh bitch it's on!" Ino screamed and lunged.

"Oh bitch you did not!" Ino tore Sakura's top.

"That's right I own you!" Gaara pulled Sakura out of the fight, just as the other guys began to get aroused.

"Mine" He said as he stroked her hair.

Sakura poked her tongue out.

"You mum owns you!" Ino screamed.

"Oh you got me" Sakura admitted. "You frigging got me dude"

"You know it"

"SOOOOO" Temari randomly said "I think-

"Whoa you think?" Kankuro said.

"Did you just interrupt me?"

"Sorry"

"That's right BITCH!

"Carry on" Sakura said while being petted by Gaara.

"I think He should walk up to a random person and pretend to know them"

…silence…

"Dude…that's the smartest thing you've said all day!" Naruto yelled.

"You're one to talk" Naruto shrugged and continued to try and stick his hands under Hinata's clothes.

Shino bowed his head, this was going to suck.

A/N: Yeah…I thought I would just stop the chapter there, just to piss you off!


	28. Chapter 28

A/N: Lol I think I'll put my dad in this story, him and his oh so sexy car, I'll get a photo of it, I'll have to ask though, he's very touchy about that kind of stuff.

So the horny youngsters exited the bus. Actually they got kicked out because an old lady complained about them groping each other but y'know…same thing…close enough.

"Dude, we're in town!" Kiba yelled.

"No we're at your mums" Ino slapped him.

"…it could be, it could be"

"WTF!?"

"Lol"

"Dude...did you just say…lol?"

"…Yeah?"

"I'm going to kill you"

"Hey lets go into farmers and wait for the next bus." Sakura just saved Kiba's life but he was blissfully unaware, as he was high on hash.

Suddenly a balding guy in his sweet as 1958 Chevrolet, 2 door convertible, rolled up, it was the hottest thing ever!!!!!

"Whoa" Kiba said.

"Sweet" Shino said.

"Hi there I'm Nigel, I'm the sexiest guy you'll ever meet" he flashes a smile, his gold tooth showing. Someone had a massive coughing fit.

"Dude loving the car!" Kiba yelled.

"Ah you mean my custom 1958 Chevrolet convertible?" See I know my cars. He gave the car some jandle and the purred loudly.

"Well I have to go, cuz I'm gay and all" he was about to speed off into the sunset until Sasuke, Choji, Orochimaru and Kabuto jumped out of the back of the car.

All wearing g-strings.

"Uh I can explain that…No I can't" and he sped off. The four g-string-clad males ran off.

Just then Party boy from jackass walked up. "Whoa, I feel like partying" he started stripping off his clothes until he was in a g-string and he started crumping. Steve-o ran past screaming with a lobster hooked on to his left ear. Manny walked in. "Kids don't try this at home."

Everyone sweat dropped and walked into Farmers ™. They went up the elevator to the top floor where the appliances were. Over in the distance a sales man was trying to sell a fridge to a couple. Kankuro winked at Temari and they walked over to a freezer.

"Hmmmm?" Kankuro lifted the lid up.

"Hmmmm" Temari said, admiring the freezer.

"What do you think sis'?" he said overly loudly.

"Yeah I think this will FIT ALL THOSE BODIES IN IT!" she said drawing the attention to the group who blushed and backed away, you could hear Shikamaru squeak a "Troublesome"

"Yeah, like that fatty we got?"

"Yeah he'll fit if well cut him up and gut him"

Kankuro stroked his chin "yeah"

"How much bodies do ya reckon it could take?" Temari asked.

"About twenty-five if you cute em' up and cram em' in there nice and tight"

"Tight"

"Yeah"

"Sweeeeeet"

Temari looked up and saw a security guard walk towards them, she gave the signal and they all ran off to the bus stop.

Cuz that's how they roll.

A/N: yeah I know it was short but you loved it!


	29. Authors note!

Hey dude what's up.

Um currently the computer in the kitchen (the one I write my stories on) has pood the

mother-board. I have a few new chapters on it, so I'm hoping that we'll either get

a new other-board or I will take the hard-drive and wack it into the computer

I'm currently using, the one in my room. So I can see either options happening i the next week

or less.

Yeah it sucks I incredibly can feel your pain so... yeah I'll try and update asap.

Artemis 85


	30. Chapter 29

A/N: lol and I'm back!!!! Omg I feel like taking a nail gun to my head right now. But no, dad hid it from me, I think that he knows that I know that he knows my intentions…

Yeah I didn't get what I just wrote either. Oh my dad might make another appearance in the story.

So everyone got onto the bus…AGAIN.

"Dude that was awesome" Kiba said to Kankuro.

Kankuro looked at him "Oh you know it baby" he grabbed Kiba and brought him in for a crushing kiss.

Moments of silence passed…

Then they totally cracked up laughing. Cuz they're weird as hell and that sounds like something I would do.

"Okay c'mon" Temari said with a face that looked like this -.O

Hehehehe

"Where are we going?" Shino asked.

"I dunno" Temari said.

Everyone stroked thier beards.

"OH!" Sakura pumped a fist and nearly crammed a crater in Gaara's face. "We could go to the pharmacy!"

"Wtf? Why the pharmacy" Kiba asked.

She blushed "I need some tampons." Gaara growled.

"No you don't you just need condoms" he grazed her lips along the side of her neck.

A steady stream of blood shot out Sakura's nose.

"Okay pharmacy it is" Ino said as she gave a lap dance to Shikamaru. A little bit of blood escaped his nose and dribbled to the top of his mouth. Ino licked it off and made out with Shikamaru as she grinded him.

It was HAWT!….

Suddenly Batman and Robin came crashing through the roof of the bus. "Holey fish paste Batman!" Robin pointed at Shikamaru and Ino "Under-aged Intercourse!"

"Yes Robin it appears we need reinforcements" Batman pulled out a packet of condoms from his yellow utility belt. God bless the utility belt. Batman handed the packet to Ino.

"Safe sex kids"

"C'mon Batman we got to go!"

"Indeed we do Robin, to the bat-mobile!" They jumped out the window.

O.o

Ten minutes later Superman flew in through Robin and Batman's hole…damn that sounded wrong!

"Okay kids, have you seen a guy in a Black suit with a gay little boy dressed up like a traffic light?" Superman asked.

Everyone shook their heads, not wanting to get involved.

"Damn you Batman and your boy-toy" Superman flew off.

Who do you like better Batman of Superman? Personally I think Batman OWNS! He has a sweet car!

So the bus stopped at the mall and everyone got out.

Kankuro stretched. "Okay where's the pharmacy?" He asked to no one in general. Hinata who was still batting Naruto off with a stick spoke up.

"Follow me" she ran out of Naruto's reach and into the mall.

"Oooo, playing hard to get are we?" Naruto ran after.

Tenten and Neji were dirty talking. You could faintly pick up pieces of their ill conversation.

"I wanna fuck you like a goat" Tenten said.

"I wanna eat you out like a pizza" Neji said.

"Well I'm going to fart in your mouth, then piss on these walls!" Tenten said.

"Omg you're so fucking sexy" Neji stuck his hand down her pants and rubbed her. She squealed.

An old woman walked past and banged her Zimmaframe into Neji's unsuspecting crotch. "Dirty boy!"

"Ahh you BITCH!"

"Don't you hurt the father of my future children!" Tenten K.Oed the batty old woman.

"C'mon lets get this over with" Shino walked into the pharmacy.

"Okay which one?" Shino asked, totally bored.

"You pick" Neji asked.

"Okay, hold this" Shino pulled out his 'girlfriend' "But if yo do anything to her I will kill you"

Neji nodded and Shino walked over to a woman who looked a little bit younger than he did. Just so you know this fic was made AFTER the timeskip.

"Whoa I haven't seen you in a long time…" he looked at her nametag "Majorie"

What the fuck kind of name was Majorie?

"Who are you?" she smacked her gum.

"Don't you remember me I'm john; your cousin's uncle's aunt's brother's sister's nephew's second cousin three times's removed."

"Okay?"

"Oh how big you've gotten, I used to remember you when you where this big" His hand was not far from the ground as he showed her how small she was when he last saw her.

"Ummm"

"Oh and you've grown so much, you've turned into a real woman"

"…You think?"

"…You're not going to hit me"

"Not exactly" she started using her best pick up lines. "If you were a booger I'd pick you first"

"Wtf?!"

"Did you just fart because you blew me away"

Shino, being the little woos that he was, sped off into the distance. The young ladies inspected her nails "Well he won't be coming back."

"Dude, Shino what happened?" Naruto asked.

Hinata was hiding somewhere, in an elevator maybe.

"I'm never playing truth or dare for EVER!" was his simple reply.

"Ah"

"Whose turn is it now?" Sakura asked while still being petted by Gaara, but the petting had moved down to her ass.

"Ummm…Temari's I think" Sakura said. Trying to slap Gaara's wandering hands; he growled and whispered in her ear.

"You owe me tonight"

Anyway Sakura walked off to get some tampons, although she probably wasn't going to need them. Guess what…

Nigel was there.

"Hey Nigel" Kiba said. Nigel looked at them blankly.

"Oh hey It's you guys" he tried to hide the vast amount of KY warming jelly behind his back.

But alas he failed.

Everyone looked at him.

"I can explain this…no I can't" and he ran off. The ginger haired girl shook her head.

"Well it looks like I'm busing home" and she walked off all depressed.

"Okay anyway, what's Temari's dare?" Ino asked evilly.

Shino offered an idea "I dare you to go into an elevator and pretend to squash bugs."

Itachi ran past followed by Kisame. Yes they were both wearing g-strings. Itachi had a blind fold over his eyes and he crashed into all the stalls. Nigel came running after them.

"GET BACK IN THE CAR BITCHES!!!" he pulled out a shot gun and shot them into the legs. They fell over screaming. Nigel grabbed them and dragged them off towards the exit, murmuring something about KY warming jelly and asses.

Temari was groaning about the dare she had to do "Well atleast I don't have to go to the gym and exercise with something stuck up my ass."

Ino fumed and Shikamaru stifled grin with a quiet "Troublesome"

"Lets go!" Ino pumped a fist.

A/N: yeah, it was wack, but you loved it!


	31. Chapter 31

A/N: Oh dude's and dudettes I'm so frigging sorry I finally got a computer going, so here's an update. Fuck everything dad touches withers away and dies!!!

Temari, Shino and Ino stood in the elevator, Ino was humming a tune and swaying on the spot, Shino had his camera in his hand and probably had a huge smirk on his face, but he covers his entire body apart from some bits between his eyes, his hands…barely, and some leg. Temari was freaking, it was rush hour and the elevator was packed.

Ino nudged Temari, as if telling her to get on with it. Temari let a huge sigh and squirmed between Shino and a man in a business suit with a suitcase.

"NIGEL!?" Ino said, with hearts in her eyes. Nigel aka my Dad readjusted his tie.

"Yes it is I the almighty NIGEL!" he flailed his brief case over his head and knocked some old guy out. Suddenly the elevator stopped and Borat got in, wearing his awesome grey blue suit.

"Hello my name a Borat" He went to kiss my dad, but you know since my dad is gay and all he kissed back.

A ginger haired girl watched on in bewilderment as her father and a random guy that could hardly speak English, continued making out in front of her. The elevator stopped at the next floor and the poor confused girl stumbled out, murmuring something about gay Swedish porn and asses.

Finally Borat's stop came up, he broke it off with my dad and before he got out "I make a sexy time with my mother in law"

People in the elevator cracked up.

"It's no joke…its niiiiice" He said and walked off. Nigel, who had hickeys all over his neck, readjusted his tie.

"Well this is my stop, I work for a really important company, I sell tools" he was obviously very proud of him self and somewhere a ginger haired girl, ashamed to be his daughter was crying and somewhere there was a guy trying to get free porn.

"Well" Temari broke the silence once all the cameo people left "That was dodgy"

"That was hot" said Ino dreamily referring to two ugly dudes making out.

Shino shuffled away into the side of a guy dressed like Napoleon Dynamite "Gosh idiot, that's disgusting" Napoleon tried to get away but stopped "Hey could you get me my chap stick?" he asked Shino.

"…No" Shino said backing away from him now.

"Please? I need it real bad, my lips hurt real bad."

"…uhhh, I'm busy" Whoa I've never seen or read or written about Shino being this talkative, well it is a fanfic so that explains it.

Napoleon let out a long annoyed sigh.

"Just get one from the pharmacy down stair I know they've got like fifty of em'" Shino said.

"Oh that's disgusting!" Napoleons stop came up and he walked out lazily. Temari fanned herself. 'What a man' she though, she must have a thing for lazy guys.

"Get on with the dare!" Ino whispered harshly in her ear.

"Fiiiinnnnne!" after a few moments Temari finally got over her embarrassment and started 'squashing bugs' "AHH THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!!" she jumped up and down on two feet making the elevator wobble and freak everyone out. "WAHHHH!!!" she jumped up and down continuously. She fell to the ground and started smacking it with her hands. "THEY'RE COMING TO GET ME!!!" she rolled on the floor and the business people had to jump over her to avoid being bowled over.

Shino taped the scene with great amusement.

_Somewhere…not here but there…_

"Look I don't know where it is!!!" Nigel cried from the chair he was tied to. A steamed of blood rolled out he cheek and he whined like the girly little man he is.

"I'll ask you for the last time…WHERE'S MY CHAP STICK ASS WIPE!!!" Napoleon drew back his hand and thrashed Nigel across the face.

"Just go down to the pharmacy I know they've got like…fifty of em'"

"EWW THAT'S DISGUSTING!!!" Napoleon continuously thrashed him and Orochimaru watched out grinning and Kabuto was soooo giddy with excitement.

_Not there but here…_

The ginger haired girl sat on the bus and sneezed "Ewww gross" she wiped the booger on the window and wiped her nose with the back of her sleeve. She then sat on merrily ridding the bus.

Nigel cried.

Finally Temari stopped jumping up and down and Ino and Shino said her dare was completed, she thank various people including her mother, asshole father and a few cousins for their support.

Yeah I know…celebrities…next she's going to be shaving her head…

(Oh god I think I lost the piece of paper with everyone's dares on the…FACK!! I have to go and find them; hang on…I FOUND IT WHOOOOOOOOOO CHEETOS!!!!...and I stood on a painting…fuck my ass.)

They all got out and headed to the other members of their 'clique' ooo sophisticated.

"Where too now?" Gaara asked boredly. Kankuro shrugged as he cutely held hands with Kiba, Akamaru jumped out of his jacket and started humping Gaara's gourde, because it looked like a smexy peanut.

Gaara growled and Sakura hugged him causing him to blush and forget the whole thing, even when the dog came all over him. IT WAS LIKE RAIN.

"Well I think it Naruto's dare now" Kiba said to Kankuro, raising and lowering his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ohhh yeah" Kiba patted Akamaru in an evil manner.

Naruto gulped…

-This is a border MOFO!-

A/N: yeah that's the end of the chapter, I finally have a computer I can depend on and won' crash thank god!!! Next chappie will be up soon unless this computer fucks me over too, then I will through it out of a tall window and break it then I will run it over!!!

LOL…silly –shakes head-


	32. Chapter 32

A/N: And…I'm back…didja miss me?!?!? I'm listening to the gay bar song, well I will no longer prevent you from going on to the story so here you ARE!!!...

It was soooo very cold…so very cold, especially if you were naked. Kiba, Kankuro and Hinata giggled girlishly. Naruto glared at him as he covered his special R18 area with his hands, it was oh so cold, his ass had goose bumps.

"Fuck you guys" He said.

"Hey, everyone had a choice and you choose dare" Sakura wagged her finger as Gaara tried to cover her 'beautiful eyes' untainted as he called them.

"From what I heard from last night the pair of you should be BLIND!!! Your eyes should be hanging from your sockets!!!" Naruto screamed and pointed a dirty, accusing finger at the two teens

"Go!" Shino shoved a bottle of bright green detergent in one of his hands and pushed him forward out of the bush…lol bush.

'I wonder what would happened if I drank this?' Naruto shrugged as he stealthily crept over to the park water fountain. "This will be easy" he told himself repeatedly.

A woman watching on with her children covered her kids' virgin eyes. Her kids giggled as Naruto unsuspectingly slinked over to the fountain in all his manly glory.

A trail of blood streamed out of Nigel's nose as he watched from a tree with his James bond binoculars. How did he get out you ask?

Time for a flash back…

_Weet…woot…Weet…woot…_

Orochimaru watched on excitedly, Napoleon got sick of this shit and went home I don't blame him actually. Oro walked up to Nigel.

"You are my prisoner!" He said.

"No shit you're joking"

"Don't get smart BITCH!" Oro back handed him.

"If I give you a blow job will you let me go?" he winced at the pain in his overly beaten cheek.

"Definitely" Orochimaru unzipped his fly and his hairy trouser snake flopped out, there's graphic for yah. Kabuto had since run away crying because he's a little girl, He thought Orochimaru loved him, Bitch was his name!!!.

Nigel glared at the…thing as started throbbing…WOW this is making me feel dodgy!!! Guy on guy and one of them is my dad GROSS!!!.

Nigel sucked on the thing and Oro groaned "Oh harder!" Nigel who was probably enjoy this, bit Oro's dick anyway, Orochimaru screamed in pain and fainted on the floor, that's when Nigel made his get away.

_BOOOOYAH!..._

What a looser.

"Troublesome" Shikamaru groaned which caused Temari to start creaming, oh she is way attracted to lazy guys…ME TOO!!!.

Naruto unscrewed the cap with his mouth and one of his hands, some spilled into his mouth which made him cough up bubbles. An old lady raised her eyebrows in glee; she chuckled and hobbled her way towards the naked boy.

When Naruto thought it was safe he started squeezing the bottle of brightly colored ooze into the water of the fountain 'awesome' he thought and grinned.

The old bag shuffled past and grabbed Naruto's ass in a fierce some gasp!

You must be wondering what happened to Lee? Let's find out.

_This week on Dr. Phil!..._

Lol I'm messing with yah!.

A middle aged woman stroked Lee's bob cut hair as she poured them each a cup of wine. "I loooove your hair" She admired the spandex clad youth.

"Um thank you?" He said as he crossed his legs and looked longingly out the window. "When's you're husband home?" Lee asked, silently hoping he would come barging through the door any minute.

"He won't be coming back for a while now" She said as she caressed his fringe.

'Oh god' thought Lee. 'Kill me now.'

_Back with Naruto…the nudist…_

Suddenly Naruto heard a sound, a happy sound, a sound that brought life back into his otherwise random heart.

'What's that sound?' he questioned himself.

Suddenly an ice-truck came whirring around the corner, hundreds of little kids rushing after it.

"OH FUCK!!!" is all he could say.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A/N: and there's another chappie, yeah it's not that good, not feeling very funny right now, but it was okay REVIEW!!! Press the purple button, it loves being pushed.

Purple button: OH HARDER, HARDER

Reviewers: Uh, Emily you're on crack.

Me: LOL!


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: Lol and I'm back…again, when's this stupid, dodgy, R18 fic gunna end? You ask, dunno aye!!! It will go on forever!!! MWUHAHAHAHAHA!!!

That is one grooooovie border maaaaan…

"Who's dare is it now?" asked Neji, whoa we haven't heard form him in a while aye!

"I think it's time for Ino's dare!!!" Tenten cried we haven't heard from her for a while either probably because she and Neji have been on each others faces and you need a crow bar to pull them apart!!!!!!!!!! Lol silly.

Ino glared daggers into Tenten; Neji glared back and petted his girlfriends head.

"Let's go!" Sakura handed her the biggest tampon you could find. "Although you could go with Choji with his dick up your ass…TO THE TREDMILL!!!" Ino glared.

Somewhere the green lantern coughed.

_With Deidara and the ataksuki …and yah mum…_

Deidara growled viciously as he smashed the gear stick into fourth as he continued down the highway…his target…the guys that abandoned him and almost got him ass raped.

The Ataksuki.

" I'll get those bastards!!!!" Deidara screamed.

Itachi and Kisame shuffled into their Ataksuki head quarters with very sore asses, they can thank Nigel for that.

"Aoowwwwwww" Kisame rubbed his ass like the little girl he was. "My ass hurts sooooooooo frigging bad!" he flopped onto the couch like an over used dildo.

"Ditto" Itachi followed suite and switched on the TV. The rest of the gang slagged into the room with their take outs. The lounge was covered with aging food products, sticky, used condoms and other things that your rather not know about. There were crushed up pieces of wet toilet paper thrown on the ceiling…some of which were brown.

…Lovely.

Kisame burped loudly and ripped open his bag of KFC. The rest of the gang came in later, Kisame and Itachi only got here early because they were ass raped by Nigel.

"Hey guys, what's up?" Tobi said as he too, crashed on the awesome, old smelly couch.

"Nofing aye, just smoking some bud" Itachi lit up a joint, I can't roll cigarettes for shit but joints are sweet.

Hidan walked in and went staright to his room to pray (jack off).

So they all sat down and watched Asian porn.

_With Deidara…_

"MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH I'll get those bastards-un" he laughed manically as he sped down the high way.

Weeeoooooo Weoooooo

"Ah shit it the feds-un" Deidara slowed down to a stop, not wanting to go through all the shit of a car chase with such a huge vehicle.

A police officer holding a note pad walked idly up to the truck. 'Oh god hurry up, just because I'm a criminal doesn't mean I don't have things to do-un.' It's true you know, take it from a letter box smasher.

Deidara opened his door and jumped out.

"Sir do you know that you were speeding?"

'Quick think of a story, I can't go to jail tonight, I have revenge to get through with-un'

"Ummm, yeah my wife is pregnant in the back and…I'm rushing her to the hospital, there are bodily fluids everywhere-un!!!"

"Mind if I take a look to prove your story?"

"Ewww no you sicko become a gynecologist if you wanna take a peak-un!!!!!!!"

The pig, raised his eyebrow. "Sir I'm going to have to take a look to prove your story."

"Fine, pervert-un" Deidara rolled his eyes, his secret weapon waiting in the back seat. The officer pulled his way up the steps and into the car. Deidara again rolled his eye's and followed after, into the long front seat.

"Where's your wife?" The officer still hadn't put down his writing pad, probably getting down details of a homicide.

But Deidara's secret weapon was still sitting in the back seat. Want to know what it is?

A blow up fuck doll…thingy…

"This is her right here-un" he referred to the doll. "Helena, my beautiful wife-un."

Here mouth was open wide and her legs spread apart.

"Ummmm" The officer, in all his years of being on the squad, had never seen anything like this before; he scratched his head and re-adjusted his hat.

"You okay Helena-un?" Deidara started talking to the inanimate sex toy.

The doll said nothing.

"Oh baby I know it hurts-un" He rubbed the dolls head.

It said nothing.

"Oh baby I'm trying as hard as I can, we just have to wait for this officer to let us go-un" Still rubbing the things head.

The officer went wide eyed.

"Um I'll just write you a warning and you can be on your way sir." He opened up a new leaf of paper.

"Oh thank you officer you don't know how much I appreciate it." Officer got out and stumbled his way over to his car…a ford….traitor.

Deidara grinned and continued on his way…to REVENGE!!!!!!!!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$SKILLZ$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

Gaara stared longingly at Sakura as she laughed at Naruto's shame.

'Oh Yeah, I'm definitely tapping that tonight' he thought and nodded.

**Hell yesh biotch!**

'Shukaku where have you been, I was just starting to enjoy the peace and quite.' Gaara moped.

**Well you see, Emily (the author) **

This is where I grin my ass off because I'm retard.

**Was having trouble with her**** computer (as you may have heard by rumors or authors notes.) So…yeah…I was forgotten.**

_**Oh cry me a puddle!!!**_

**You such a faggot Emily!!!**

_**Your MUMS a faggot BITCH!!! Oooo BURN ON YOUR NAME MOFO!!!!**_

Shukaku new he was beaten so I left.

**What a freak.**

'I finally agree with you on something!'

**Amazing, so I hear from rumors and withers note that you were going to tap Sakura aye?**

'I'm thinking about it.'

Shukaku shed a tear. **There's my boy, all grown up.**

Shukaku disappeared.

Naruto cried as time stopped and children gazed on his naked body, his most secret part covered by his tainted hands, well I heard it wasn't that secret, apparently he gets around…STI's!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aids lol!!!.

Children started hemorrhaging from their noses or having seizures, the truck driver had just crashed into a power pole from being blinded by Naruto's over oiled body.

People, who had lost power to their houses and had recently heard a crash, went outside to investigate, they too were stunned to see a naked, sweaty boy, standing in the park near a water fountain oozing bubbles. Some children ignored the naked boy and splashed in the bubbles.

Naruto had recently regained his composure and ran into the bushes; he hastily put on his one piece orange jump suite and ran away like a little girl.

Nigel had since fallen from the tree and died from being overly stimulated, he too had hemorrhaged at the brain. But he's still alive because I can hear him welding and grinding (lol grinding) in the garage.

Poor soul…damn pointless trailers.

All the other teens chased Naruto down the road like drunken sailors after a woman in a bikini. Good times.

Hinata and Kankuro were the fasted, but Akamaru was pretty quick, wanting a chunk out of that FINE ass. But so did Hinata and Kankuro…

What a debate, I should take it to debate class…NAH!

A/N: yeah I'm definitely putting lemons and shit in here aye!!!! Lol I hoped you liked it, I thought it was pretty good give me you rating from 1-10!!!!!!!!!!


	34. Chapter 34

A/N: Annnnnnnnnnnnnd…….I"M BACK!!!!

Everyone laughed their asses off as Naruto ran towards… shit I think I lost that piece of paper again…WAIT FALSE ALARM, IT WAS HERE UNDER ALL THIS SHIT!!!!!!!! Gotta clean this dump up!!!

"Whose dare now?" Shino asked uninterestedly, just wanting to go home. Meanwhile Naruto was running off his freaked-off-ness.

"I think its Ino's" Sakura put a finger to her lips and bit it. Gaara watched in a memorized daze. In and out, in and out.

**Oh god…**

'Amen.'

Ino cried. Temari grinned "Oh revenge is sweet!" Ino still cried "TO THE GYM!!!" Temari yelled and pounced on her boyfriends back.

"Argghhh, troublesome woman" Temari licked the shell of his ear; he didn't say a word and continued on their way to town. Temari still perched happily on his back.

Whoa I think someone's talking about me because I just sneezed.

Ino stretched out her wedgie as she walked towards a treadmill; a tampon was wedged nicely up her ass. She groaned and turned it on and jumped on. The rest of the gang laughed apart from Gaara and Shino, they are way too cool for laughing.

Ino jogged on the fitness machine, then suddenly out of no-where a little kid popped up right in front of her, licking an ice-cream; she stared at Ino with unblinking eyes.

This continued for about oh say…..ten minutes, then suddenly the little girl slapped her ice cream on the treadmill, causing Ino to slip back and go under the handle bars.

The girl laughed evilly and ran off.

"Ouch!!!"

"Right dare over. This is soooooo boring" Sakura yelled and thrust her hands into the air.

"Yeah that revenge wasn't that good." Temari admitted. Ino sighed and got up.

"Well I've had enough for today" said Tenten.

"Yeah lets go" Neji said, yawning.

"Whose dare is it tomorrow?" Hinata asked shyly.

"Kankuro's" Sakura walked next to Gaara and they all walked home.

(I'm watching Boston legal and its soooo funny!!!!!)

So everyone was on the bus heading home, Nigel was stalking him because he's a weirdo, you wanna hear a cool story.

Okay I was going through dad's contacts on his cell phone and guess what I found.

Gay bar.

Sure enough I rang it, and it was a gay guy advertising where the bar was. The bar is called 'The box' I never would have suspected it. So scary, I am the daughter of a gay man.

"Man I am so tired!" Kiba said.

"You sure?" Kankuro asked.

"…yeah why?" Kiba raised an eyebrow at him, petting his dog.

Kankuro shrugged "Oh no reason" He grinned a wicked grin "I was just wondering if you wanted to do 'something' tonight?"

Kiba's eyes widened "Sure!" he jumped in his seat. Yes that's right, gay lemon.

Temari and Ino grinned at Shikamaru and started fondling him "So troublesome" He moaned as he flopped his head on the chair and spread his legs apart for better access.

"You like that don't you bitch?" Ino slipped her hand down his pants and smoothed his balls, whoa that's graphic. The bus driver watched the free porn from his rear-view mirror. Ooo how erotic.

Temari licked his ear lobe he moaned and twitched his leg. The two girls giggled as Shikamaru mumbled a troublesome. Gaara watched in jealousy, Sakura noticed this and grinned. She flipped herself onto his lap and kissed him square on the lips and grinded her hips against his. Gaara watched wide-eyed and moaned as she ground herself into him, he gripped and floral seats and nearly snapped is finger nails on the fabric.

She trailed kisses on his neck and left and bruising hickey on his once-white neck. Sakura ran her hands up Gaara's shirt and over his abs. She shivered, feeling the hot flesh; she trailed her petite fingers down to his waistband. Her fingers whispered over the top and ducked into his pants; frightening the hell out of Gaara and Shukaku.

**AHHHHHHHH** is all Shukaku could say.

'Omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg!!!!' is all Gaara could think in his broken brain.

Inner Sakura (intercourse Sakura) was egging Sakura on.

**Do it do it do it do it!!!**

So was the authoress _**Do it do it do it!!!!!!**_

Hey even the readers were in on it _**Do it do it do it do it!!!!**_

Sakura's plump strawberry lips feathered over his panting ones, she nibbled on his lower lip and ground into his hips, earning a grunt and a whine. She finally pulled her face off his and sat back in her seat, fully composed.

Meanwhile Gaara's hands where down by his sides, he was panting heavily and sweating, a blush adorning his cheeks.

A demon was also cheering him on in his head.

Every inhabitant on the bus, old people, young people and middle aged people stared in awe. Sakura applied more lip gloss to her…things that the lip gloss was intended for; Gaara looked over at her and his gaze immediately returned to them, the Chap Stick danced over her slightly bruised lips, he moaned, wishing he was that Chap Stick when she stuck her tongue out of her mouth and licked them. She finally bit her lip.

This caused Gaara and Nigel to both hemorrhage at the brain and black out from blood loss.

Hey what's another word for lips; I need my thesaurus…OH SYYYT I ACTUALLY FOUND ONE…AND IT SUCKED!!!.

Hinata watched, learning new tricks, she looked over to a sad Naruto who sighed as he got hard from watching his friends get some. She kissed him on the cheek for a total of 5.4 seconds. It was a wet kiss; wet enough to cause Naruto's eyes to widen.

"You don't have to do that, y'know following everyone else's example; I don't care if you're not ready. I think you're awesome, don't put yourself out for me" he flailed his arms in front of himself in a crazy fashion. Hinata shuffled closer.

"But I want to." Her lips grazed against his softly, her tongue darted out into his mouth and probed around. Naruto's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he laid back on the seat, letting Hinata do all the work. Her soft tongue pushed against his and rubbed the inside of his cheek. The broke away for air.

"…wow" Naruto's breath was labored and Hinata's cheeks were a cute pink colour."Do you wanna finish this when we get back to Sakura's?" he asked.

Hinata nodded and rested her head on his chest.

Meanwhile Neji and Tenten were actually talking and not making out for once!!! OMFG!!

"Aren't you, I dunno, ashamed of me?" Neji asked, twiddling his fingers.

"Why would I be?" his girlfriend squeaked.

"Well, I kinda make you look like a dike"

"…Dike and proud." Tenten dived on top of Neji and nearly sucked his face of in excitement. Jezz if the main house could see this they would be so ashamed, although some would be slightly proud. Neji the virgin lol!

Shino sat in the corner seats, caressing his razor, he stuck it down his pants and groaned "Oh baby not so hard, your shredding me!" literally.

A/n: okay I'm spent for the day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	35. Chapter 35

A/N: hello kiddies, here's the next installment of the fic!!!!!!!!!!!! Sweeeet!!!!

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The bus came to a halt and so did the bus driver…if you get my drift. All the teens filed off the bus, calling thanks to the driver, apart from Gaara and Shino, they were way too cool.

Well Shino was too busy nursing his cuts, Kinda wishing that his nurse would yah know, nurse them for him. Winks, wink nudge, nudge.

Sakura stretched and opened up the door of her house. Everyone followed her and slagged out on the sofa.

"Let's watch a movie" Sakura said.

"Yeah!" everyone cheered apart from Shino and Gaara…you know the story. The lights were turned down low and everyone got comfortable. Sakura nuzzled into Gaara's chest, he gripped the seat.

(Man the creative juices have stopped flowing…DODGY!!!)

"Hmmmm" Her breath tickled his neck, Gaara tried to push away.

"What's wrong?" She asked, her eye's showing hurt.

"Um, you don't want to know" he shifted slightly and looked at the others who were either entranced by the TV or were sizing up their other halves.

"But I do" She sat closer.

**DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!!!!!**

_**DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!!!**_

_**DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!!!**_

Gaara grabbed her hand and entwined around his 'lower' half. "This is my problem" he groaned and rubbed her hand against him.

"Oh" she said dumbly.

"Yeah" his eyes squinted at the pleasure flowing over him.

**Just flip her on her back and take her!!!!**

"I can fix that for you if you want me too" her emerald eyes pierced his teal ones, even in the darkness he could see the lust building up in clouds. Soft lips connected with his, she straddled his hips and began to kiss him. He broke the kiss.

"Huh?" Sakura looked at him questioningly.

"Do you wanna…continue this somewhere else?" his hands rubbed hotly against her thighs. Her pink cheeks look endearing. A charming smile spread across her face and she nodded.

"Yeah…okay, where abouts?" She laced her fingers through his hair.

"Well…I could use a shower" he mumbled into her neck, his smooth lips strayed across her pulse and she shivered.

Gaara's grin pressed into her neck and she felt her face get even hotter. "Me too" Gaara looked up over her shoulder too see if any one was watching. Sure enough the perverted sensi Kakashi was 'observing' Jiyarah was standing next to him gathering up some 'research'.

You know where this is going…

White stuff splattered all over the window.

A ginger haired girl ran away laughing manically, an empty yogurt bottle in hand.

You so didn't know where that was going, I so p00ned your ass n00b!!! Lol

Sakura tugged on Gaara's sleeve, as if saying to follow her, no duh. He complied, stood up and followed.

….

….

….

A/N: AHAHAHAHAH YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN YOUR FACE, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH lol! OH MAN you were getting all ready for a lemon then BOOYAH!!! IN YO' FACE!!!

I'm sorry I didn't mean…LOVE ME!!!


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: hehehhehehehehe, naughty, naughty. Heheh

Gaara pushed Sakura into the door and kissed her fiercely, their tongues swiped at each other. Sakura sucked on his lip and caressed his face. He felt like his legs were going to fall out from under him, good thing the toilet seat was down because that was really the only place you could sit. Her legs wrapped around his waist and she grinded against him.

His shirt was whipped off and Gaara tugged angrily at hers.

"You want some help with that?" his eyebrow went up, wondering what sexy prank she was going to pull. Sakura's arms crossed each other; she gripped the hem of her shirt and began lifting her shirt up, ever so slowly.

'This woman will be the death of me.' Gaara groaned to himself

**But it will be a pleasurable death by FAR!**

'I seem to be agreeing with you a lot lately.'

Pink material surged higher over her belly button, her stomach was smooth and flat, his hand scratched over it and a jolt went up her spine. Sakura's top had now reached under her breasts. Gaara decided she was doing this way too slow and whipped it off for her.

Emerald eyes widened in surprise as she felt a face cake itself between her annoying womanly lumps. Gaara pressed his head against her chest and could feel the unsteady hammering of his woman's heart. His breath was erratic, so was hers. Her slim finger tangled in his auburn hair, massaging his scalp. His eyes closed and his hands tightened around her hips.

Gaara's tongue swept down her valley, creating a wet trail of saliva, his lips wove around a hunk of flesh and he suckled it, her luscious moans caught in her throat. Gaara bit down of her skin and the moans broke free. That barrier she called a bra was interfering, and what do we do with things that are interfering.

We get rid of them.

Sakura's bra was unclipped, tugged off and finally strewn to the other corner of the room. He suckled the underside of her orb and he could feel her nails digging into his skin, she ground down on him again and a groan escaped his hold. Gaara felt his face heating and he closed his eyes, he rested his head against her voluptuous chest, a hard nipple was pressing into his ear and the other was in front of his line of vision. On Impulse his lips clasped over the bud of the exposed nipple and sucked.

Her head flicked up in ecstasy and a loud sigh echoed off the pale tiles. Sakura wanted to feel more of his flesh against hers, she began undoing the buttons of his shirt with shaky fingers. Gaara's hands covered hers and helped her undo the buttons, one by one.

Five buttons, by now Sakura had memorized everything about them, their colour, their size and their texture; they were smooth and turquoise, perfect against his smooth black shirt.

_**DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT!!!! **_Inner Sakura screamed in her head, she wanted more.

The shirt finally came loose and she slipped it off her lovers shoulders, he shivered as the smooth fabric tickled his skin as gravity caused it too fall to the ground. Her nose traced his jaw line and dipped down his neck to his collar bone. Her tongue traced it carefully as if she was painting a canvas. Sakura dug her shoes into each other and slipped them off with a 'thud' on the floor. Gaara followed suit, slowly his hands traced her bare back and placed themselves firmly on her ass. Her white shorts were getting in the way; the jeany material was infuriating to his skin and was a plain nuisance. What do we do with things that annoy us?

We get rid of them.

Sakura's firm kiss awoke him from his thoughts; he touched his forehead to hers and looked into her eyes. Those emerald eyes simmering with emotion, her bottom lip quivered, indicating to him that she wanted more. Gaara's eyes fell too her cute belly button, then even lower to her waistband, his hands detached their possessive hold and undid the metal button, exposing a triangle of matching green underwear. His fingers swooped like a hawk over the pitiful material, over the cute green bow, finally his fingers dipped and he felt the sandy feeling of hair.

His hand grasped the back of her neck and brought her in for a long and wanting kiss. Gaara's hands went back down to her butt and he grasped it, he slowly stood up, Sakura's creamy legs entwined around his waist, her arms around his neck. Her back pressed against a cold wall and she felt fingers tugging angrily at her pants. Understanding this she brought her legs slowly to the ground, her pelvis grinding into his on the way down, almost causing him to loose his footing.

Sakura's white shorts slid down her slender thighs and hit the ground, her hands, quivering all the way, grabbed the hem of his shorts and ungracefully detached the button from the button hole.

Gaara could hear the sound of a zip unzipping, suddenly his legs felt very exposed and he could feel Sakura's warm flesh against his, her calf slipped up his and encircled his thigh like a cobra strangling it's prey. Gaara looked over Sakura's shoulder and could see the shower tap teasing him, not too far away. He grabbed Sakura's legs and shoved them around his, her lips still attached unceasingly to him.

The silver tap turned to the right, letting out a steady flow of warm water; he stepped into the shower with Sakura still attached to him literally from the hip. The refreshing water streamed over their wanting bodies, Gaara broke the kiss for air and looked into her eyes, she was panting heavily.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concern laced in his tender voice.

Sakura was breathless; all she could do was nod numbly. A water droplet trickled down her cheek, slicked her nose and finally sat waiting patiently on her quivering lower lip. Gaara's perked lips covered it and it disappeared, he let her leg slowly fall to the smooth metal surface of the shower floor, his hands rolled the damp material of her under wear down her legs until they flopped wordlessly onto the floor.

Gaara's little friend pushed into her inner thigh, he moaned and she felt it twitch. His eyes looked up to her questioningly, she nodded and he slipped his silky boxes off. Sakura dug her fingers into his back awaiting the pain. Gaara grabbed her hips and lowered her onto his member. She was tight.

Sakura screamed, searing pain tore through, feeling like it was ripping her in half she nearly black out, Gaara's mouth hung agape in utter shock.

"You're a virgin!?" blood trickled from her, finger nails dug into his back but he ignored them.

She nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked sadly, feeling horrible for deflowering her and taking away her innocence.

"I was embarrassed, I didn't want you to laugh" tears welled sadly in her eyes, her hips rolled on him, trying to get comfortable with the offending ligament inside her.

Gaara tilted her chin up so he could look her in the eye. "I would never laugh at you…I love you" He realized he did, with all his heart, even more so than his x-box, sorry had to throw that in there for shits and giggles.

A joyful smile flew across her face she kissed him with all her might, nearly causing Gaara to fall over. His eyes clamped shut and his hands held her ass in place, Gaara pulled her off the wall, turned around and carefully placed her on the floor of the shower, never breaking the kiss. Her perfect legs tightened around his waist and she thrust her hips into his. Sakura felt his weary moan vibrate through her mouth. She rolled her hips and Gaara tried to hold her in place, not wanting to loose his control so soon.

He wanted this to be slow and enjoyable but Sakura was making that impossible for him. He felt her grin as her lips spread.

'So she wants it like that huh?' he thought also grinning to himself.

**YEAH! WHAT? OKAY! GET CRUNK!**

Yeah don't ask.

He thrust even more into her, causing a yelp, he was buried inside her, his head covered in her pastel locks, she smelt of peaches and whipped cream, he suddenly got a dirty thought of him and Sakura experimenting with cream.

'I'm going to try that next time!'

Sakura's finger nails dug harder into him, drawing blood, and her legs gripped even tighter to Gaara.

"GAH-RAAAAAAAAAAA" she trust into him one final time them came, he came not long after he warm fluids making it impossible not to.

The hot water had now turned cold, but the pair cared not. Gaara pulled out of her and turned off the tap. He lifted his woman out of the shower; his legs could not carry him far so he laid her on the floor and rested with her, covering their bodies with a fluffy towel. She immediately snuggled into him, looping her arm around his waist, draping his legs over his. Gaara propped up his head with his arm and drifted off to the land of nods.

**YEAH! WHAT? OKAY! GET CRUNK!**

_In the lounge…_

Kiba who was scoffing down on popcorn suddenly noticed that two people were missing; he looked around the room to calculate who they were.

"Hey where are Gaara and Sakura?" He asked a fist full of popcorn poised in waiting. The rest were to into the movie and just shrugged, he rolled his eyes, turned his attention back to the movie and munched down on his popcorn.

A/N: what did you guys think, give me a rating 10/10!!!!


	37. Chapter 37

A/N: lol here's Tenten and Neji…THE DIKES!!!. Lol nah I'm messing with yah!

LOL!

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Tenten sat next to Neji on the couch, singing the dike song, damn I don't even know if I'm spelling this right.

"Alright I get it" he folded his arms and pouted.

She wrapped her arms around one of his "I love being a dike!"

Neji glared at her, the light from the TV lighting u his face "Are you keeping something from me?" suddenly in the distance you could hear someone screaming their ass off.

"YOGURT!!!!! SWEET NECTAR!!!!" a ginger haired girl ran around carrying a huge bag of yogurt and smashing it on people's cars and windows. It was a chilly night outside, the cars were covered in dew, and she decided to play a little game.

She threw a rock at the car to see if it had an alarm, a black car didn't, and she lay down on the hood and stretched her arms out. She got up and admired her work.

"Heheh raped on a car hood, classic" she came across a red Honda, a girl-racer car. An evil idea sprung to mind. "Oh yeah Duff man" she randomly pulled out a piece of paper with Pamela Anderson on it naked with a guy licking her ass. Again she picked up a rock and threw it at the car; nothing happened so she stuck the picture on the back window and with a blue maker she wrote 'take it BITCH!'

"Jezz what's her issue?" Tenten asked Neji, both staring out the window.

"YOUR MUM'S MY ISSUE MOTHER FUCK!!!" by this time the young ginger was 'loling' her ass off. "Oooo p00ned nigga!!!"

"I think I caught her smoking drugs behind a bar once"

_Flash back mofo…_

"Dude this shit is so good" she took at hit on her doobie and passed it too the left because the right way is wrong.

"Dude" her friend sat on a dumpster.

"Dude" she said

"Dude" her friend said

"Dude" said Neji

"Dude" said her friend

"Duuuuuuuuude" said Neji

"Whoa I'm seeing purple dragons and yellow gorilla's dude" her friend said

"That's…pretty fucken trippy dude" the ginger haired girl said. She took a swig of her beer. "Sweeeeet"

_End flash back muther fuck!_

Tenten looked at her boyfriend, his moods had changed and he was squeezing her arm to the point of tingling

"What's wrong?" she pushed some of his hair behind his ear.

"I'm sad and jealous." He admitted truthfully, a cute pout still adorning his face. Tenten giggled again. Neji glared. He felt her warm breath tickle his ear, a tongue swirled around inside of it.

"There's no need to be jealous" she grinned. She noticed a strange twinkle in his eye then suddenly he pushed her backwards onto the couch, her eyes widened and Neji's mouth devoured hers. Neji's hand shot up her shirt and his other held her hands above her head. His hips ground into hers' to the point of being extremely uncomfortable. Tenten winced and he began to undo the buttons on her shirt.

A hot sigh wavered through Neji's mouth, saliva trickled down her lip, he lapped it up and gracefully opened her shirt, Tenten's arms shivered above her head, he loosened his grip and her wrists wriggled free, they swooped into his hair and pulled him closer, fingertips pulled his wavy locks free from their bounds.

Kiba meanwhile heard a sound, it was a dodgy sound, a sucking sound, it went kinda like this if you were to describe it in word.

'Shlupsoooooouuumuahp' it was continuous sound and sounded rather…sloppy. Kiba looked around trying to find the source of the dodgy but…dodgy sound. He found it; the ginger haired girl was sucking the glass of the window, she licked it and tapped her teeth against it, then she pushed her lips right against it and blew so her cheeks blew up like balloons. Kiba sighed and got up and opened the window, the girl fell in.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"Your mum in the ass!" she said from her position on the floor.

"Don't you have a life?" he asked, a bag of popcorn slung under his arm.

"Your mum doesn't have a life!" she said.

Kiba stared at her.

Her eyes got all watery "…no"

"You wanna hang and watch a movie?"

She wiped away a tear "Yeah, that be sweet as mofo"

Neji nipped at the underside of her chin. "You like it don't cha bitch?" Neji said, as he squeezed her boob. She hissed and snarled angrily at him she chuckled and bit his neck; it bled and she lapped it up and dug her teeth into it.

"You like it don't cha bitch?" she repeated his words and he felt her grin spreading on his neck. He scoffed and ground his hips harder into hers she groaned and clutched his head shoving it in her cleavage. "Bite me"

A muffled "sure" was heard, then Neji's teeth clamped onto her flesh. She gasped loudly, Neji tried to stop her with his mouth.

Kiba looked around "What's that dodgy sound?"

Kankuro was puzzled too "Yeah" he said from between Kiba's legs, on his LAP people, his LAP.

Emily who was eating a chip felt strangely puzzled, there was silence.

Then she farted "Oh now there was my problem, okay I'm good now." Everyone gasped for air or fainted "Oh that could gag a maggot!" she sniffed in "Ohhh wafting" she spread some over to Naruto. She's a nice person and likes to share.

"…Nice" Shino said unsurely and caressed his razor.

"That shit is FACKED!" You could hear a distant cry, Sasuke ran into the window, but since it was bullet proof class, it rebounded his ass.

"AHAHAHAHAHA what a retarded retard!!! LOL!!! Look at him, dumbass!!!" Emily screamed and pointed at the window.

"…look at yours" Kiba said.

"…Look at your mums" She replied.

"Ooo you got me"

"Hell yesh biotch!" Oh yeah she is so weked cool, her life feels so endangered right now.

Sasuke was lying on the ground by the window, wearing his McDonalds uniform breathing heavily, He cried like the little wossy girl he was.

"Oh suck it up pussy!" Emily cried and smacked him repeatedly over the head with a 2 by 4.

_With the Ataksuki…or what ever the fuck their name is…freaky crappy…cool organization…_

So everyone was sitting in the lounge or lying on the floor, eating their food and defying gravity at the same time, mad skillz!

Suddenly a huge six wheeler truck came plowing through the front on their…house?

"HOLEY FUCK IN HEAVEN!!!" Hidan screamed and lunged, that's right LUNGED! His sandwich rolled free from his grasp and floated slow-mo matrix style into Tobi's face, Tobi's face rolled side ways, the sandwich, still in slow motion smeared across his face, lettuce became lodged into the eye hole and mayonnaise dripped from his mask.

Kisame dived from the couch also in slow-motion, rolly pollied and finally did a back flip, Sasori held up a card with a 9 and Kisame threw a kunai at him. Sasori leaned back as series of Kunai and shuriken flew everywhere, he dodged everyone in slow-motion. One went past his eyes, which had coincidentally turned into weked cool shades.

Shino lay in a forest dead, wearing everything but.

His weked cool glasses.

So basically everyone was rolling around everywhere dodging things, putting on weked over coats…not capes! And cool glasses. By this time Deidara had gotten out on the truck and was holding his blow up 'wife' possessively.

He pulled on a pair of cloves and magically grew a suit. Deidara adjusted his tie "Oh it's on!"

_We'll get back to them later…_

Oh Neji had an evil laugh. He peeled off her bra and chucked it on the floor, not far from the seated and Oblivious Emily. Tenten made the move to smack him across the head, he grabbed her arm by the wrist and trailed butterfly kisses up it, into the nape on her neck down her jaw and finally to her ear, all pleadingly slow. The brown haired girl squeaked after he bit onto her ear lobe.

"You taste good Tenten" her name rolled off his tongue in a suggestive manner and dropped to the floor, like her bra that was discarded long ago. Neji's tongue swooped into the shell of her ear. His right hand was meanwhile caressing her cheek while the other feathered over her smooth stomach finally reaching it's destination at her core, covered in her green Ninja pants.

Neji's fingers darted in and out between her thighs, a jagged moan wrenched from her throat. His fingers dipped into the waistband of her pants, scratchy curls tickled his finger. Neji's surprised fingers met hers. "Where are your-

"I'm an adventurous girl, what can I say?"

"Fine with me I like em' feisty" He grinned and smudged it away on her face.

"Lucky you" Suddenly she flipped him over with an 'oomph' so he was on the bottom.

She sat, quite comfortable on his pelvis and grinded against him. Neji got a nice show over boobs bouncing around in all directions. "Sweet" Neji thought.

Emily felt a sneeze coming on "ACHOOO" a nice big booger hung from her nose, with colours varying from clear, yellow, green and red? Oh that's not good.

"Hey does anyone have a tissue" everyone shook their heads and she rolled her eyes, an invading object on the ground grasped her attention, she gripped it, feeling it was soft, she wiped her snotty nose in it and blew as hard as she could. Immediately falling over.

"Oh damn not a god idea" she clutched her head and waited to regain her composure. A few seconds later she sat up and looked at the thing she'd blown her nose in…she looked harder suddenly her eyes widened at the dawning realization.

"IS THAT A FUCKING BRA!?!?!?" everyone who was watching the movie turned to her, as she held the offending appendage at arms length. "DODGY MUCH!!!"

All the girls looked down their tops and glared at their boyfriends in warning.

"YOU BASTARD!" Kankuro jumped up and pointed an accusing; sausage like finger at Kiba "You took my bra!" there was a deathly silence.

"You wear bras?" Kiba raised an unbelieving eyebrow.

Kankuro's finger drooped and her blushed "Oh yeah" he sat back down on Kiba's LAP!.

Emily, meanwhile, had no reason to look down her top. One, because she didn't wear bras. "Bra's are for losers" she said to the audience.

"That's why I use….dun, dun, dun Suspenders!!! They're weked cool!"

The audience applauded.

'Yeah go Emily!!!' you could hear them scream 'Whoot Emily you own us!!!' Suddenly a piece of popcorn lodged itself in her eyelashes. She tried to blow it off, diverting her lower lip upwards. So in turn she had entertainment and salt in her eyes for the next 5 hours! YAY!!!

Sasuke had thus awakened from his deadly coma. "The fuck?" he flicked his chicken-butt emo fringe to the side of his face and stood up "You" he pointed to Emily who was still blowing into her eye.

"Why...little old me?" she did the puppy eyes and the popcorn fluttered up and down while she blinked.

"Yes you!" he THRUST a finger in her direction. "Where is Subaku no Gaara?"

"Oh him, I think him and your mum are fucking in the bathroom." She said.

"Oh…right…" he started walking towards the bathroom. "Dammit I don't have a mum, she's dead!" he stomped his foot on the ground like a little kid.

"Oh well then it sucks to be you" she picked the popcorn out of her eye and threw it whimpily at the homo emo.

Sasuke went to cry in a corner for a while. "Why does my life suck so much!?" Sasuke cried.

"Hey it's not only you!" Emily yelled and tipped the box of popcorn over his head.

"Huh?"

"That's right; I'm currently in a fight with my dad. Oh he thinks he so much better than me, well he won't be thinking that when he's underneath me, writhing in pain as I willfully stab him with a pointed blade…

Everyone backed away.

"To hear his fearful screams echo off the walls, how his organs would feel when they spill from his body. How the blood would seep into the grey carpet. But most of all his shocked and horror stricken face and the realization that he's not better than me, the realization that I bet him and won."

She grinned a maniacal grin. Everyone backed away about five meters.

"Sorry guys, that was a bit deep wasn't it?"

Everyone nodded.

_With lee…_

"Ohhh you're so buff…" The strange woman caressed his chest.

"I'm I really have to-

"Don't be in such a rush, would you like a drink to loosen you up?" she offered him a glass of red wine.

"Um no, I can't drink" Lee backed away into the couch. The woman rested he hand on his leg and Lee shuddered.

"You like that?" she grinned. Yes people, this 40 year old woman is trying to seduce a 14 year old. Quite sad really, she obviously can't get any, just like my dad.

But that's just plain funny.

She pushed him over onto his back and tipped the beverage down his shaking throat.

The room was silent and Lee swallowed loudly. Suddenly the woman's husband crashed through the thin door.

"WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? MY WIFE WITH ANOTHER MAN!??!!" he screamed and pointed accusingly at the guilty looking pair, well Lee didn't look very guilty as he was quite tipsy.

"GET OUTTA MY HOUSE!!!" he yelled at the hazy Lee.

"AND WHAT MUTHUR FUCKER!?!?!" Lee owned the old man's ass.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY!?!?!" the man's face was red with anger.

"I SAID AND WHAT MUTHUR FUCKER!?!?!?"

A/N: Oh no, what will happen to lee, what will Happen to Tenten and Neji, will they get caught? Gosh who knows, I guess you'll have to find out in the next chapter.

P.S: sorry I haven't been writing, my life has currently been very chaotic, with wanting to murder family member's who look down their nose at you, so yeah, next chappie, will be up when it's up!.

Artemis 85 (Emily)


	38. Chapter 38

A/N: and here's the next chapter!!! Yay!!! everyone cheers!!!!!!!!! AYAYAYAYA!!! Lol

"Maybe we should continue this elsewhere." Tenten whispered to Neji as she straddled his waist. He held her steady and untied her buns; it fell down to shoulders length and tickled her chest.

"Why?" Tenten looked at the rowdy crowd.

"I don't want them seeing us." She blushed and covered her chest.

"Oh" Neji stood up and picked her up in his arms, she squeaked with surprise as he trudged off silently down the hall with her in his arms.

"Where are we going?" her eyes widened as he pressed her up against the wall and shoved his head between her cleavage.

"The back room" Neji smudged his lips up the valley between her breasts and she shuddered. He picked her up again and they continued on their way. They came do a door, Neji felt around for a door knob; he twisted it and flung the door open.

Neji sucked on the flesh of her neck as he walked blindly around the room, his legs bumped into something and he had a look, it was a chair, so he fell into it; Tenten's legs wrapped firmly around his waist.

The room was dark and the windows were open, moonlight was streaming through the waving curtains, noises from the outside world filtered into the room but the pair knew nothing of them, as the stared into each other's eyes. His milky white orbs, never ending as the heavens and her caramel brown ones flowing like rich chocolate.

Just staring…

"Do you love me?" Tenten broke the wavering silence; she wriggled on his hips to get comfortable in the big lazy-boy chair.

His head leaned back into the chair; he couldn't take it, her hips grinding into his nether region. He thought about her concerning question and looked back up into her fidgeting eyes.

"Yes." Was his simple answer.

Her unbelieving eyes pierced his like daggers. "Really"

"You don't believe me?" those worlds hit something sharp in her heart.

She looked away from him in shame at what she was saying. Neji gently grabbed her chin and tilted her face to look at him. Her eyes were leaking precious tears, the trickled down her peachy cheeks, lit up silver in the cool moonlight.

"How do I know that you're not going to have your way with me and then toss me aside like all the others?" she angrily bit her bruised and purple lips and tried to cover her chest.

Neji gently grasped her wrists "Because I am not like all the others" He brought her lips down to his for a mind blowing kiss. All her suspicions flew out the window with that one kiss. Tenten's fingers clasped the hem of his shirt and steadily began to lift it up over his head. Neji's chiseled chest brushed against her curvaceous one.

His shaking hands clutched onto the elastic of her green pants, they were soft against his hard hands, shaped from clock working hours of training. He tugged on them until they slid away from her soft, creamy legs. They sat, squashed into a chair together; Neji looped his arm around her neck and kissed her swollen lips thoroughly. He grabbed a handle on the side of the chair and it tilted back Tenten grinned up at him as he loomed over her shinning, naked body, glistening in the moonlight.

"I want you now Neji" her unsure fingers darted into his hair and massaged his scalp, he rested his heavy head on her voluptuous chest and sighed, a nipple caressed his hot cheek and a wavering gasp chocked out of his woman's mouth and into the cold night air. Neji's lips shut around it and he sucked and licked and nibbled. Engrossing gasps shot out of the brunette's mouth.

Her soft hands smothered his arching back earning a throaty moan, her long legs encased her victim and grinded into him. Neji shuddered in her grasp as his erection grinded into her damp pelvis. Tenten tugged off his pants and discarded them onto the floor. The head of his throbbing member dipped into her entrance, deliciously warm and slippery.

"Neji!" she moaned his name loudly.

"Are you sure, you really want to?" he asked reassuringly.

She nodded vigorously. "Yes" she groaned.

His length ploughed into her entrance, her walls wrapped around him then relaxed. He pushed her leg to the side and pushed deeper into her, she arched her back into his touch and sighed. He pushed himself in and out of her hold.

"Faster!" she demanded, he complied and pushed even deeper into her core. "AHHHHHHHHHH" her walls clamped around the foreign object inside her. "Neji I-

Her walls squeezed him and her wet juices dribbled from her. Neji muffled his moan into the sweating flesh of Tenten's neck as his well needed release came. Fully exhausted he dropped onto Tenten's warm skin, her arms encircled his back and she placed a soft, chaste kiss onto his head and fell into a deep slumber.

A/N: cool hope you liked it this bit here reminded me of marriage 'her long legs encased her victim'…not really but it instantly came to mind, lol!!!! Hope you liked it! Yes I know, very dodgy and some parts are too poetic!!! My mum wanted to read this entire story and was like…hell no.


	39. Chapter 39

A/N: hey guys sorry it's long, lots of shit's been happening. Dad got in a fire in the garage, he's okay but he had to have a skin craft on his shin, so it's been pretty busy, it looks like cooked steak, damn I just wanna lick the crap out of it, mmmm, lol. Also I've been messing around with my car, it's been sitting on the lawn, I didn't really bother with it because I don't have my license. A nice yellow ford escort.

On with the story…

Damn it was uncomfortable, hell. Naruto and Hinata were sitting side be side on a nice smooth leather couch; the only sound heard was the tapping of Naruto's urgent and nervous fingers against the table.

Hinata broke the silence "…so, hows things?"

Naruto looked at her through the dark room "Things are good…you?"

"Oh yeah same old, same old" Hinata looked at her fingernails.

His blue eyes shifted "Hows your sister"

Hinata looked at him with her big pearl colored eyes "Ah good, dads been pushing her quite hard but she's keeping up"

He nodded and started humming "we're breaking free…we're soaring, we're flying" Hinata gave him a look of 'wtf?'

Naruto continued on, his voice gaining strength "there ain't a star in heaven that we can't reach!!!!" He jumped up onto the couch and Hinata crept away quietly to the other end of the seat, trying not to catch stupid, if that's at all possible.

"We're soarin', we're flyin', there's not a star in heaven that we can't reach!" he even started singing the girly bits in a gay high pitched voice "If we're tryin' so we're breakin' free!"

Suddenly, before he could get a hold of himself or at least finish his song, the young purple haired girl leapt on him "SHUT UP!!! I hate that song, it drives me mad!"

She didn't notice that she was erotically straddling his waist in an arousing fashion, she also didn't notice his eyes get big with a few tints of red in them. His pupil's dilated and changed into the sort you would see cats have. His teeth grew out a little bit and his blonde haired spiked up a little more. He grabbed the shocked girls shoulder's and pulled her towards him roughly, she gasped and his sharp, coaxing mouth met hers. Naruto's sharp teeth nipped at her plump candy flavored bottom lip.

Hinata's eyes feathered shut and she grinded against him, making his nails dig into her white blouse more. Her soft hands rubbed his face, Naruto gave her an animalistic growl in return.

"Your so hot" his pointy teeth scraped her bare neck, his fingers got right to the point of undoing her blouse, painfully slow. She grinded into him and with shuddering fingers she undid the button of his orange jeans. He helped her take off his black shirt and she caressed his hard, flexing muscles. Naruto's eyes clenched shut as he grabbed her thighs and pressed her into his crotch. Hinata's head flicked back in ecstasy, she rubbed her neck sexually and the white blouse slipped off her shoulders, onto the floor.

Hinata's hot white bra was all Naruto could see with his red lustful eyes, how her boobs wanted to just jump out with every bounce her body made. His nails traced her smooth navel down to her navy blue jeans; he swiftly undid the button and slid his finger into the matching pair of white briefs. He caressed the trusses of purple hair, unseen through her panties. She moaned loudly when his finger hit her sensitive clit, her hips jutted into him, her nails dug into his chest almost drawing blood.

His other hand reached up behind her smooth back and broke the clasp of her bra, who can be fucked with bra clasps anyway. Unnoticed by her the bra slid down her shoulders onto the floor with his shirt. His tough fingers pinched each of her nipples making her moan that little bit harder.

Suddenly Naruto noticed a strange spark in her pale eyes; she grabbed the hem of his pants and whipped them off in one swift moment.

Meanwhile a ginger haired girl, alone in her room, writing a fanfic was really bored…nah I mean really bored, so from the line of a movie she remembers she looked up on her local web "chick fucking a horse" millions of links came up and she gave the thumbs up.

"Now there's entertainment!" queue the cheesy smile!

Meanwhile in the background, the knight rider theme music was playing, the ginger haired girl bobbed up and down to the rhythm, suddenly a black corvette smashed through her window, well she thought it was a corvette, could have been a transam though. Suddenly David Hasslehoff back-flipped through the window and yelled "Don't hassle the hoff!!!!!!" the ginger haired girl said "lol" and David left, leaving the girl in the piercing cold, well it wasn't that cold but a wet towel on the head can't be good for you, but so what if she like star wars?

Lol sorry to the people who were fapping off and were rudely interrupted.

Naruto flipped Hinata under his body "Do something kinky for me baby" Hinata licked her lips and closed her eyes, her hand, from above her head trailed down over her breast and pink, perked nipple, under her breast, down her shaking, sweat dropped stomach into her curly purple tresses, Naruto's eye's went wide as she inserted a delicate pale finger into her folds, she groaned and her head lulled to the side, he just watched her finger, go in and out, wet from her bodies core.

His eye's widened even more when her slick finger took the same trail over her belly button, up under her breast and over her pink nipple.

"No fucking way" he thought as her finger went up to her neck, over her chin and darted into her hot mouth. Naruto almost busted a nut right then and there, she suckled her finger and opened her eyes to look into her lovers dark, surprised eyes, the bulge pressing up against her leg was more ominous now but she wanted to have a bit more fun first.

Hinata's hand slid back to her slick opening and she inserted three digits into her folds, her moans echoed off the walls as her fingers pumped in and out of her body. Naruto lowered his head to her neck and sucked, his canines had become painfully long.

"It's time" he whispered against her neck, his teeth made two puncture holes into her neck, she moaned loudly as he lapped up the blood.

"You're mine now" he carefully pulled her hand away from her wet core and sucked her fingers dry of all her sexual fluids, her sat poised over her and dipped the tip of his throbbing erection (lol) into her womanhood (lol), he swirled it around and made her shudder. Naruto looked into clear eyes, asking for permission, she nodded hastily and he plunged into her. She screamed loudly as Naruto pumped in and out of her insanely. Her soft walls clenched around his length (lol) as if the were trying to pull him into her.

Tears tore from her eyes as she clenched around him for the final time, her fluids invaded like a torrent of water (lol). Her juices were so inviting that he couldn't handle it, he had his orgasm straight after and he collapsed on top of her in a fiery heap.

A/N: Sorry about the long wait, as I said, dad got his dumb ass into a fire and I got a new car…my baby…my precious. Lol, sorry to all the people who were trying to fap off, and sorry it wasn't very good but I've just got back into the rhythm of writing dodgy things.

P.S: don't write dodgy things at school, not a good outcome when a teacher sees things like that, detentions are plentiful!!! Lol


	40. Chapter 40

A/N: hey guys. Okay be patient with me things have been pretty haywire around here. I got my license and I've been practicing. Okay so here's the next chapter it is a Kankuro and Kiba lemon. Don't hate me because this is the first lemon I've done with guys in it. Not that I've done any with girl on girl but…Oh c'mon alright I've never written a gay lemon cut me some slack!!!

Yeah….

The luminous dark shone over his peaceful yet disturbed face.

"Hey man your gunna have to stop hugging me cuz I'm getting turned on" Kankuro shuffled around in Kiba's arms.

Kiba held on that little but tighter and swung his leg over Kankuro's waist. Inside Kankuro cried.

Outside the ginger haired girl was raving to some wicked music. Inside she laughed.

"Duuuuuuuuuude" Kanky shoved him. Kiba hold on tighter and shoved his face in Kanky's neck. Inside Kanky had a seizure.

His hot breath simmered over Kanky's neck, Kankuro was wondering how he was going to get out of this, then he felt Kiba's smile.

"You bastard get off!" he shoved Kiba off and rolled over. Kiba laughed and smacked the floor comically.

"Awww c'mon y'know you love me!" He touched Kankuro's arm.

Kankuro shuffled away. Kiba grinned and grabbed the poor guy's hard crotch. "You are so horney!"

"Get off!"

"Well your Horney, I'm Horney, I know how we can fix our problem"

"…"

"Wanna play a game?" Kiba asked

"…What is it?" Kankuro was a little suspicious

"…Nervous"

"…How do you play it?"

Kankuro rolled over to look at the guy lying next to him.

"Well we take turns, I take off your clothes and I ask you if you're getting nervous and when you say yes I win."

"So who ever has the most clothes off wins?" Kankuro seemed puzzled

"Correct" Kiba nodded.

"Oh, okay then, who's first?"

"…Me"

Kiba grabbed the hem of Kanky's shirt "Are you nervous" he whispered hotly in Kanky's ear.

"Nope" he felt his ears get hot.

Kiba started to slide his shirt up his chest. "Are you nervous?" He nibbled on his neck.

Kankuro moaned "No but I am really horney."

Shikamaru shivered and tried to get out of two women's grasps.

Kiba pulled the shirt over Kankuro's head. "Are you nervous?" He asked as he feathered his firm fingers over Kanky's belt.

"Nope"

Kiba's sharp teeth clasped over Kanky's right nipple, he suckled on it, making Kanky moan hard. Kankuro's big hands tugged on Kiba's thick brown locks. Kiba licked down to his navel and swirled his tongue around his gooey belly button, somewhere a kitten died. Kiba blew on the hem on Kanky's pants.

"You nervous?"

"Never"

Before he knew any better his pants had been taken off and thrown out the window, somewhere a ginger haired girl had a knew pair of stylin pants!!!! YEAYAH!!!

Kiba inserted his finger into Kankuro's silky boxers and swirled his finger in his scratchy pubes. Kiba started sucking on Kanky's neck, "you nervous?" he asked him again.

"Nah" and before he knew it, the ginger haired girl had a new pair of navy boxers, that were four sizes too big! Woot!!!!!!!!!

He took the head of his cock in his hot mouth, Kankuro groaned, and Shikamaru tried to get away.

(A bit of both worlds' here kiddies!!!)

He felt Ino's arms leave him, pretending to be asleep he watched what she started to do. She stripped off her T-shirt and moaned lightly when she grasped her breast in her well-manicured hand, she softly teased her nipples. Shikamaru's glazed eye's watched her tongue lick her plump candy lips. Her brows furrowed in concentration as her other hand feathered over her neck, chest, breast down her belly, over her navel down her thigh and up her skirt, suddenly Shika's pants became really tight and uncomfortable.

Biting her lip her other hand worked the button on her skirt; she undid it, unzipped the zip and slid them off her glistening legs. Her hand began fumbling with her boob again as the other pumped against her wet pussy; she tried to suffocate a moan when her two fingers darted into her nectar (lol). They pumped in and out, and Shikamaru found his hand working on it's own, it hand unbuttoned his brown jeans and flopped his dick out. (lol!!!)

I'm a killer I know!!!

He let out a hard sigh as his hand cupped his sack. When he next opened his eyes he found they connected with a pair of rich blue ones, paired with two pink cheeks, a sweaty forehead with bit of hair chapped to it and two shivering lip, looking for words.

Ino looked at him; he was a bit nervous as he held his a hard, huge dick in his hands. She licked her lips and a bone-shattering shiver shot up her spine as she stared at his dick, a droplet of pre cum harassed the tip of his shaft, with out thinking, she leaned over and lapped it up gracefully with her tongue. Realizing what she had done she looked at his face, it was pink and full of pleasure, so she continued, she cupped his balls and sucked on the tip of his cock.

He clasped his teeth shut to keep in his sound. Not making him want to cum so early, she licked up his chest and smothered his lips with hers, forcing him to taste himself. For the first time in his life he actually thought he'd contribute to something. He flipped her on her back and took his shirt off fully. He grinded into her, suddenly he noticed a pair of well-toned legs on either side of Ino's head.

"Leaving me out huh?" Temari whispered into Ino's ear, although slightly annoyed Ino thought it was only fair, that was until Temari's pussy hovered over her head and when she took Shikamaru into a fulfilling kiss.

Ino maneuvered herself so the tip of Shikamaru's length was just inside her, she wrapped her legs around his waist and forced him into her, Shikamaru's eyes shot open and he moaned into Temari's mouth, Ino played with the sensitive skin on his pelvis, making him shiver, he pumped into her slowly, Temari started to get wet when Shikamaru started playing with her boobs. Ino decided to try and throw them off a bit; she looked at Temari's glistening pussy, almost begging to be licked, her tongue smothered over her folds and parted them, Temari grinded into her face and Ino's tongue took it's opportunity she lapped up the juicy fluid that was Temari. Temari moaned into Shikamaru's mouth and kissed him harder, in turn making him fuck Ino harder and faster, which made her eat Temari out ever more ferociously.

Kiba moaned when he heard his three companions working it on the carpet, poor, poor Sakura's carpet.

"My turn" Kankuro grabbed the hem of Kiba's shirt in which seemed like a sick turn of events. "Are you nervous?"

Kiba grinned, "Are you?" Kankuro was spun around onto his back; he looked angrily at Kiba who was stealthily taking off his shirt. Kankuro felt himself get even harder when he saw his toned and tanned body, hovering in all its glory. He watched Kiba unbutton his pants and unzip his jeans, and then he whipped them off in one fluid motion.

I was doing pretty well out of it, I got two pairs of boxers, three pairs of jeans, two skirts, two bras, four T-shirts and a yellow tooth brush, it's all good!!!

(. )(. )(. )(. ) ALIEN BOOBS!!!!!!!! NARHHHHH!!!! lolol


	41. Chapter 41

Hey guys sorry for the long wait, I've been

Lazy…

Well I did get back to school a couple of days ago, but the fact is I have been pretty slack…So I just want to say…I'm sorry and that this chapter is going to be really mint for you!!!! Because I love all my reviewers…

And there's a special guest!!!! Well he'll be sticking around for a while!!!

Sakura shivered against Gaara's manly chest, hearing Kankuro and Kiba go at it was a little bit more than disturbing…a fine word like Traumatizing should take the cake…but no…no one takes my cake…the bastards…

Although some geeky orange haired girl had scored a good manly man sex scene, some new clothes, and a smexy yellow tooth brush… yellow is the colour for psychopaths.

Gaara sighed as he wrapped an arm around his childish girlfriend having been scared by two men having sex. The pink haired girl sighed and nuzzled into his sweet smelling chest; Gaara smiled and held her close.

"Che, I think those guys are asking for competition" Gaara chided, he looked down and Sakura grinned playfully up at him and giggled "Oh Really?"

"YAH RLY!!!" The ginger haired girl screamed, she ran off into town with her awesome blue undies over her jeans and her two sizes too big T-Shirts. Don't forget her awesome yellow tooth brush sticking out the side of her mouth.

Suddenly some guy jumped out of a tree "I clean my toilet with that" he pointed at the overly attractive yellow stick coming out of her mouth.

"Oh Rly?"

"Ya Rly."

"…Bugger"

"Hehehehehe" he laughed maniacally at the girl's expense.

"You bastard" she smirked and rubbed the guys' hair "I think I know you"

"Oh Rly"

"Yep, you e-mailed me aye?" she poked his fluffy bangs (Yes we call them bangs over here too)

"Don't touch my cool bangs"

"Indeed" The ginger haired girl looked the guy up and down, and prepared herself for a long description of the character so that everyone could get a picture in their head of what he looked like.

He had black hair, that went to the base of his neck, the tips curved upwards, like he used hair curlers in his sleep (lol sorry dude I couldn't resist, you can hate on me if you want.) He had really dark brown eyes, like chocolate and wore black pants, a black shirt saying 'See something you like?' and a NICEEEE black trench coat.

He put his hand out "I'm Joe"

She looked at him suspiciously, "Joe, aye?" looked him in the eye and finally when he didn't twitch she grasped his hand in a firm shake.

"I'm the ginga haired chick aka Emily…call me what you want." He grinned sheepishly, that's if sheep can grin…hmmmm

"I'll call ya' Ginga"

She shrugged "Whatever, my mates call me that anyway." She gave a friendly smile and paraded on "C'mon lets go cause some terror!!!!"

"YAY!!!!" he sprinted on past towards the house of sexy horrorness.

A/N: BUWAHAHAHAHAHAH okay next chappie up really soon!!! Promise!!! I'm not going to be slack anymore!!!


	42. Chapter 42

A/N: well…I've been lazy and over worked but now it's the holidays, I'm bored and I have chickenpox…It's time to do something and get me some reviews

A/N: well…I've been lazy and over worked but now it's the holidays, I'm bored and I have chickenpox…It's time to do something and get me some reviews.

All RIGHT!! Sweet…

M'kay you ages and ages ago Kankuro had that dare to head bang to classical music in his car in town…lets go there.

Emily and Joe sat in the tree…discussing what they should do next. Meanwhile the horney Anime teens sat in Sakura's bedroom being dodgy.

"So…." Sakura said to all the bored looking teens. "Well this game has kinda died hasn't it?" They all nodded from their places on the beds. "Then we should do something, it's still pretty late and it is a Friday I mean, we could do Kankuro's dare since all the boy racers are fucken around in town?"

"Excellent Idea" Kiba replied evilly to Sakura, Kankuro sighed and stretched out his collar to let some hot air in.

"Hey Kankuro, where's your car at dude" Shino asked as he reapplied some moisturizer to his silkily shaven legs. They were so sexy.

"It's at my house, y'know how it is, I bused here with you guys remember, on the bus…The honeyness…the strange ginger haired girl and her freaky dad with the pimped out car?" Ha asked everyone with a raised eyebrow as he questioned them to if he was right and if all this and more had actually happened, hey the events in this story are pretty unbelievable, I mean this would hardly happen to a group of normal people.

Well all this has come from a morbid, ginger haired young girl with fantasies about computers so…yeah.

"Do you wanna go and get your car" Ino asked while hugging one side of Shikamaru as he slept.

"I'm all for it" Temari said from the other side of poor, overly sexed Shikamaru…ah his dad would be proud.

At Shikamaru's house….

"Ah I'm so proud" Shikamaru's dad sat on top of his house with a beer, a bag of chips, a bag of peanuts and a pair of binoculars, aimed at a house that looked strangely a lot similar to a dear pink haired anime characters home.

….Not at Shikamaru's house…

Naruto and Hinata walked in from the other room, Naruto looked rather puffed out and Hinata looked, very proud of herself and had a strange manly aura about her, steaming of confidence.

"Hey guys, have a good sleep" Shino asked cheekily.

"Yeah you could say that" Naruto swiped a sheen a sweat off his brow and sat down on the chair in Sakura's room.

"We were just thinking that we should we do Kankuro's dare?" Temari asked Naruto of what he thought.

"Hell yes….Um which one was that?" Naruto asked and scratched his head.

"The one where he was going to head bang to classical music in his car." Sakura replied for Temari.

"Um yeah sure but don't you think we should go and rescue poor old Lee from that scary, undersexed old bag from next door?" Naruto raised an eyebrow and looked at his friends.

"Yeah we probably should" Kiba crawled back into bed and wriggled around to get the perfect position.

Everyone rolled their eyes "Yeah don't worry we'll take him with us, we're going to bus to Kankuro's house to get his car.

"Why his car?" Naruto asked.

"Because it's got sweet sounds" Shino said as he lathered his womanly legs with moisturizer.

"But…we're going to get Lee first; I don't want to be responsible for his death." Sakura looked over at Gaara, lying beside her who was idly staring at her boringly white ceiling, making out shapes in the strange pattern on the ceiling.

"Lets go then" Gaara sighed and sat up.

A/N: hey guys, there's the starter chapter to let you know that I haven't died. I'll update within the week, I'll be update quite a lot and I'm starting the next chappie tonight.

Ja ne.


	43. At Shino's house

A/N: Hey guys this chapter was a little later than expected…I was invited to a party and it was mother's day so I spent the day with my mum, cuz she's awesome and pushed me out her gine

A/N: Hey guys this chapter was a little later than expected…I was invited to a party and it was mother's day so I spent the day with my mum, cuz she's awesome and pushed me out her gine!...yum

Shino's house was totally awesome, that's all it was awesome…if you had to describe his house in one word that was the first word to come to your head it would be awesome.

Shino's house was a huge two story house, surrounded by various flowers, of which housed various types of insects. The house was a natural brown colour, it was neat and tidy and gasp the lawns were mowed. (Note to self, get more excuses to not mow lawns.)

From his awesomely non-ending pocket, Shino pulled out his keys and twirled them around his finger, then dropped them…y'know when you try to be cool and…it doesn't go accordingly to plan…that's basically what I'm talking about here. Inside Shino's Non- ending pocket he secretly held his shaver. It all its pink, aloe Vera comfortness it sat waiting patiently…watching waiting…to be used!

He stepped towards his garage and gave a pained sigh, he brought the bunch of key's he had to his face and inspected them, there were about twenty four keys in all…in which he need four…one to open that garage…one to start the car…one to open the gas cap…and another to get through his dad's awesome security barrier. Shino held the keys effortlessly and flicked the keys he didn't need over to one side of the key chain, saying their uses as he went.

"Nope don't need this key, that's for the torture room…"

In torture room…

And old man sat in a cold, clammy basement in rags "hello?"

At Shino's Garage…

He flicked another key over. "Nope don't need that one…that ones for the boat." Somewhere a boat was dwelling sadly on the sea…driver-less. He flicked another key over. "Nope don't need that one…That's for the porn stash."

You see kiddies….being the hot little genius Shino is and forever will be, he had a marvelous plan to store his porn…where only he and a selected few new the way to enter. There was room in Shino's house that didn't have a door (omg a room with no door…kinky) Shino discovered it as a child when he first moved in, as his parents had a coffee and scones (I love scones, they're kinky…I like the word kinky…it's kinky lol) Shino jumped into the man hole which led under the house and found a trap door…he lifted it up and there was a homeless guy lying on the bed…hugging his trolley.

Shino shooed the homeless man out of his house…even though he wasn't really homeless as he was living in a secret room in Shino's house…he looked homeless so that's enough to justify the homeless man actually being homeless. After Shino had accomplished that task he pulled out all the marijuana vines growing up the walls and through the ceiling, he cleaned the place up and ever since that has been his place to store all his highly illegal, highly embarrassing…stuff…for lack of a better word.

Flash back in the past!!...

Queue Doctor Who music

Ooooo weee oooooo!! Dun dun dun dundundun dun dun dun…lol

Shino's dad Shibi was walking madly around the house in his boxers pulling out his hair. "Where the FUCK is my PORN!" Shino sat in the door way giggling, and Shibi would never find his beloved girl on girl…barely legal porn again which was being stored next to the razor porn…Mmmm Razor fetish…emo yet strangely kinky.

FLASH FORWARD INTO THE FUTURE

Queue doctor who music going backwards…

Dun dun dun dundundun dun dun dun dun!! Ooooooo weeee ooooo…lol.

"Ah found it!" Shino cried victoriously…well not really he really couldn't be fucked and I don't blame him…at the party I had half an hour sleep because the girl next to me was making dodgy sounds in her sleep and she was cracking me up seriously and she was punching me and then she kneed me in the ass which made pelvic thrust the person I was sleeping next to who gave me the strangest yet most slightly kinky look.

The door opened with a creak and lo and BEHOLD!! (Thinks of a type of car that isn't gay for five minutes) A ginger coloured 1973 Toyota corolla!

"Dude we are seriously not driving in that are we?" Ino asked as she stared at the orange abomination….and no it wasn't called Emily…It was called DUN DUN DUN….suspense…little ginga.

"What? It's got sweet sounds." Shino popped open the boot…where there was a wall mounted stereo speaker crammed into the back of his car with the bass turned right up.

"Dude just get Sub!" Kiba cried as he stared at the early 70's speaker that was staring at him angrily in the face…kinda like my dad after he's eaten spicy food and is sitting on the toilet then I accidentally walk in on him and his bright red constipated face pushing a log the size of George Washington out his ass.

Lol good times…

Everyone crammed into this little car…which really didn't work so they all got out and tried to think of an idea. Shino rubbed his face…which would later need to be shaven.

"Well how bout….I guess we could fit about five people in here including me."

"What about the other (I start counting anime characters on my hands) and Kiba can go and get his van so we can jump in there when Kankuro does his dare and that means we can all go."

"Okay Kiba dragged a few people with his which turned out to be; Sakura, Gaara, Temari, Shikamaru and Ino.

Coincidence?…Maybe not…or maybe so…I just don't know…

Shino sat on the pavement and watched the flowers in his garden, Kankuro, Hinata Naruto watched Shino play with the girly butterfly.

"Hey Shino…do you wanna get you car out?" Naruto asked, flicking his thumb in the direction of the garage.

"Yeah I probably should." Shino pushed his glasses that re-stole of Deidara further up the bridge of his nose and walked toward the garage. After going through the handful of keys, he finally figured out which one was the one for the garage. The door flung open Star Trek style like…pssshwooosh and Shino's car sat awaitingly inside. It was a bright green ford escort. It was niiiiice….for a ford.

"Okay everyone pile in" Shino said as he opened the doors with a button on one of his many key rings. Kankuro, Hinata and Naruto all piled into the car, the two lovers in the back and Kankuro and Shino in the front seat.

Off they drove into town.


	44. Kankuro's Dare

A/N: yay Kankuro's dare

A/N: yay Kankuro's dare!! (Finally)

!!

Kankuro wringed his hands "I really don't want to do this guys…I'm having second thoughts" he looked around at all the hard core black gangsters and felt so out of place with his purple face paint.

Gaara smirked and gave his brother a look "You said you'd do it"

"Yeah and it's a dare you have no choice" Ino said matter-of-factly as she was perved at by tough black guys.

He rubbed his hands up and own the steering wheel and bit his lip, some dude that was walking past gave Kankuro a weird look as if to say "dude chillax".

All the teens apart from Kankuro got out of the car grinning, the purple faced teen sighed and wiped his hand over his forehead, trying to stop the heaving flow of nervous sweat.

"Why? Why? Why?" he banged his head on the wheel and breathed deeply. Gaara Sakura, Ino and all the other people that I had put in the car and have now forgotten about, sat on a nearby bench and waited for Kankuro to complete his dare.

Kankuro looked at the ceiling of his car and sighed. "It's now or never" he turned the key of the car onto ignition and all the lights in the car lit up. He turned the stereo on and waited.

Out of the cd slot, a cd pushed its way out. Kankuro pulled it out and threw it in the glove box. He picked up another cd and inserted it into the cd slot and waited patiently. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel.

And then…

Opera music blew through his speakers, you should have seen it, the tough black guys' necks nearly snapped because their heads span around so fast. The strong voice of a female opera singer wafted into the pale blue sky, competing with the hip hop and the heavy drum and bass.

Kankuro beat his head up and down with the rhythm of the opera blaring out in his car. He got so many look but he didn't care, this music was so empowering.

"Oh my god this is classic" Naruto laughed so hard and hugged Hinata tightly to hold himself up. Everyone hid behind Shino's car and laughed at Kankuro's humiliation.

"Okay I think it's only fair we end his pain" Ino intervened. She walked up to Kankuro's car. "Okay Kankuro you can stop now" She screamed at him.

"NO WAY THIS IS AWESOME!!" his head thrummed away with the female's voice and Ino laughed.

A/N: WHOOOOO AFTER THIS THEY GO HOME AND THERE WILL BE A SAKURA GAARA LEMON SINCE THIS IS A SAKURA GAARA FIC!! It shall be hot!! AND IT SHALL BE THE LAST CHAPTER!!...oooo and there may be a chapter for Nigel, I don't know yet, if you think I should put a chapter in for Nigel Just say so and I'll take in the votes.

LOOLOLOLolololOLOL


	45. Nearly there

A/N: Hello! I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But not in the dodgy Michael Jackson way.

"Please let us go" Itachi's lip was busted and he wept pleadingly.

"Yeah man, we'll do whatever you want, just please…let us go" Kisame pleaded with the dark and ominous figure.

"Bwahahahahahah!!!!!" the figure laughed evilly "But I'm not done yet!!!!" the dark figure stepped out of the shadows to reveal himself, it was non-other than.

NIGEL!!!

He grinned manically "Oh ho, ho, but I'm not nearly done with you yet." He stepped closer and the once terrifying pair shivered in their corner.

…

"And this is a carburetor" Nigel held up a metal object from a dismantled motor "Isn't learning fun!?" Nigel was really getting into this.

Kisame tried to cover his ear…gill things "Oh merciful Jesus make the torment stop!" Itachi was down to the point of rocking back and forth in a corner.

"This is a header!" Nigel held up another piece of machinery from the motor. "Cool huh?" Itachi started crying.

"Make the torment stop please!!" Itachi screamed and covered himself with his bare, yet hairy arms his pink g-string did not conceal much from the eye.

"But this is so informative, what would you rather hear about? Car parts and machinery or mathematical equations?" The two notorious villains ceased tier laughter and perked up instantly.

"Car parts." They said in unison and sat up at tentatively. Nigel continued his onslaught.

Shino on the other hand was having a great time with his new lady friend and all the young teens knew it as they sat in Sakura's room, fully disturbed. "Well that was just insanely creepy" Kiba spoke up as he picked fluff on his jeans. Sakura nodded as she sat on Gaara's knee who was sitting on her black computer chair. Shikamaru sat on the floor, his arms around both his women, Temari and Ino, who sat next to him quite contently. Naruto sat with Hinata between his legs, her head resting on his belly and Neji and Tenten were sitting in the corner whispering dirty things in each other's ears.

"Well I'm honestly bored of being here and it's about time this story ended anyway" Kiba stood up and dusted off his legs "I'm sure the author has an awesome was to end the fic." He walked out the door and trotted down the stairs shutting the door behind him. Everyone shrugged and nodded, Neji and Tenten left the room and went into the bathroom, the shower instantly started running and giggling was heard. Naruto laughed "C'mon Hinata, I'll take you out for lunch" He helped her to her feet and said goodbye to everyone.

Everyone left one…or pair by pair until it was just Gaara and Sakura left. So everything went happily ever after, The Atatsuki (sp?) had got their dinner and were munching it happily on the couch, the young horny teens were all together with their counterpart doing various things (probably dirty) and the readers are happy because this story is going to end soon with an awesome Gaara and Sakura lemon in the next chapter that will be up soon.

Not to mention that Shino got waaaaay lucky!!!

A/N: next chappie up soon, sorry the end chapters have been so disappointing but I've grown out of Naruto a bit, I've written too much and it's killed it for me! Lol!!!

Hope you enjoyed, the last chapter will be nice and long and epic.


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